First row second chair
a man has your oil stained hands,
only his are gripping a pen
instead of a wrench or rachet.
Standing in line at the register,
someone is wearing your faded carhart jeans
torn and burnt in places
that suggest long hours under a car
fiddling with radiators and engine mounts.
At the till I get a receit that
cheerfully tells me I have been served
by someone flaunting
your name
in all its simplicity
headlining my order.
Lumps fill my throat.
I walk the paved pathways
seeing your chin, your mouth,
your arms
spread through the populace.
I search the multitude for your eyes
burning with intent and confidence,
but they are absent,
just a cold smattering of your parts
across the campus.
You are gone.
And I am alone.
Author notes
For My Lost Mechanic.
Please feel free to let me know what works what doesnt, and suggestions for replacment words or phrases where things dont work.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is a sad poem and you conveyed your sorrow through your words. There are some typos in this that could use fixing: P2L6 should be "handling", P5L2 should be "intent", P5L5 should end in a period and begin L6 with a cap. As a suggestion, you might remove "And" from the last line. I think it might be more powerful with just the simple statement. Good work though...any way you look at it, nicely done..
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I actually meant for it to be Headline -ing however that is spelled and you were right about intent, but I think I like And at the end because I dont want it to come on to strong I want it to be sort of a whisper that is an attachment to the previous line anyways thanks I will hopefully be posting more. Do you know if there is a way to change my collums to journals without having to repost them all because they didnt have the "journal" option before.
~Kar -
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"headlining" then. I don't think it is possible to do. But if it is, you'll need to get a moderator to help. You might ask them...
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