Our lips locked for one last kiss, tears filling our eyes.
Tonight the stars come crashing down,
I fall to the ground.
As we say to love, our final goodbyes.
Author notes
Prompt Last kiss 30 words I tried
I'll probably turn this into a lyric later :]
A contest entry
- Quickie! Everyone wins points! by Blue-Rose Beauty.
700 points, ended August 27, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie Poems that won a trophy by Not-The-Sun.
550 points, ended September 6, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
True like all my lyrics good or bad?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Great
well only few people can describe their story in few words in such a beautiful manner.
Good job ,i really like this poem.
As we say to love, our final goodbyes.
I like this line.
Keep writing
Stay happy
Lucky. -
You did an awesome job telling a story with few words. Very sad write, but a great read.
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wow
you kinda replicate the emotions that I have incorporated in my latest poems(please check my page)....that is why I could relate to this poem so instantly.I loved it. -
"Tonight the stars come crashing down,
I fall to the ground"
this middle section has splendid diction;
you blew the prompt out of the galaxy on this one. well penned! -
yuck! good poem, the raven (or whatever it is) picture is a bit gross but i suppose that's just because i'm sensitive!
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haha thanks :]
and it's a crow
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wow
i was turned yearning state by that lingering sweet kiss......! -
good write thank you best of luck
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congrats on the honorable win sis!!!
beautifully done and well written...i can definately see you writting a great lyric out of this little bit in no time...i have faith in you! i can really feel the painful sorrow of saying goodbye and how much it sucks to have to let go of someone i love. there's also the yearning for more of the kiss or at least more time to have with my love and to be able to tell him and show him how much i love him. the harsh truth is that there's never enough time to say goodbye even if we know when we are going because we never do say everything we want to say. there's always something missing. something we forget to say or do. it's all brought out in this short poem here, but i know that you'll bring tears to my eyes when you make it into one of your lyrics my dear sister.
keep on writing!!! short stuff, long stuff, lyrics....write it all!!!
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not bad but i don't understand why you have "tear's" and star's" neither are possessive or contraction...check the grammar.
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I love the background and the picture at the top.
It's true, more or less. Most people will go through this in life if they already haven't. 
I like it.
♥
Dax
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beautiful sad and sweet lines. lovely writing you share in this poem.
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lots of emotion delivered here,,,, straight to the point,,,, powerful and emotional,,,, thanks for sharing
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Excellent ! So much said in soo few words penned !
Beautiful and flawless from the start to the end ..
Thank you for sharing this sad & passionate poem !
Best wishes & hugs , Friend Easy
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This is a good poem. The rhyme was a bit off, I'm not sure there's a rhyme scheme for A B B A but it works ok. I liked the imagery. Good write!
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