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Finally not afraid

i dream to close my eyes
and never breathe again
to feel the warmth of my blood
pour into my hands
to decorate with different cuts
the center of my wrist
to be able to finally let go
and get away with it.

i aim to not see morning's light
to have everybody fooled
i just want them to believe i'm alright
even when it's far from the truth

shamelessly i've had enough
this life was more then i planed
i'm sorry that i've given up
will my friends understand

my life was never anything more;
then getting beat and raped
i never wanted to be a whore
but i guess it was apart of my cruel fate

close your eyes don't look at me
and let me slit away
slipping down further then you can see
it just has to be this way
my self destructive path has long ago been made
i promise to stay strong and try not to cry
for once in my life i'm finally not afraid;
not afraid to finally let myself die.

Author notes

this isn't what i wanted'

*~*bee*~*

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • robena
    October 23

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    wow deep emotional write here i like every bit of this.
    most days i feel like this.
    i hope this is not your reality, if so i hope youre fine now

  • IntimidusRex silver member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    this is a sad and chilling piece. an ode to what our society bodes for the next generation? I hope not. to little empahsis is placed on life and the alternatives to the self destructive paths we find ourselves on. this is deep and should we should never ignore the plights of our children. well done

  • JToddUnderhill
    September 1

    Edit | Reply

    Sad

    I used to be a cutter back about 17 years ago and I can say I feel your pain both physically and mentally. I am sorry you are going through what ever is driving you to self destruction, but rest assured that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. I know it sounds cliche' but think about it deeply. I hope you get the help you need to embrace life instead of dance with death. If you need to talk to someone who survived the same thing you are going through let me know.


  • endless-lover silver member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    aw doll;
    life isnt what most people want it to be,
    i kno most the time i dont kno how to keep going on,
    i want to give up,iv tried to give up
    but it sadly just wont work that wayy!
    your so stunning inside and out,
    with more talent then you can understand.
    you have to keep your head up high,
    remeber your loved mucho;

    vanna

    • FallenFromGrace1102
      August 26
      Edit | Reply
      things have just been pretty crazy lately. every time i get things back to being remotely okay then crash back down it's really fusterateing. oh well i guess things will work out sometime. thanks for the lovely comment :]

      *~*bee*~*

1 - 6 of 6