Every other Day, Every other dream
every other life that's gone wrong
Every other baby, Every other breath
every other singer or song
Every other time, every other lie
every other father walks out
Every other payment, every other rapist
every other drug habit strung out
Every other sinner, saint, or savior
sent to hoard my whole world
Every other church, every other doctrine
is it a boy or a girl
Every other dream you stole from me
every other time I believed
Every other day you come and lay with me
til this child was conceived
Every other goal I set in life
ever other prayer sent above
Every other feeling that's come over me
Every time wasn't love
Every other regret, Every other tear
Every other squeeze on this gun
Every other click, Every other bang
Every other Day just for fun
Every other sentence, Every other witness
Every other parole to make bail
Every other God, Every other Jesus
Always another Satan, Always another Hell..
A contest entry
- Give Me Rhyme or Give Me Death 3 by NickRhyme.
700 points, ended September 1, 2009, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Nice Job
You did well here. As far as the repetitive phrase goes, it is definitely a nice touch.
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I really liked this...
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Nice work. Unlike the other comments, I enjoyed the repetitiveness. Sometimes repetitiveness is good in poems, it helps you stress the point and fits the theme of the poem.
Great take on the prompt. Thank you for entering. The last line brings it home, like you're saying that no matter what there will still be bullshit and evil in this world. -
Well this was an interesting write. For myself, I got tired of "every other" in i think the third stanza. I dug the end though. Well done and best of luck... Scott
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I agree, i didn't really like the repetitive " every other" at first but it kinda stuck lol.. thanks for the comment
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