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On the evolution of society and the stasis which runs in tandem with it.

Dear fighter of equality,

The 1920s actress’s did distain so well,
Heavy, eyes and lips.
We had two doors to the threater,
One, and the one to the left.

The boys in their high waisted, wonder Speedos
Are so perversely innocent.
Acceptance through blindness,
Smile at their friendship.

These days the people provide their own distain,
Behind eyes and lips.
We have two laws for the people,
One, and the one to the left.

Today we know more
What lies behind the too similar pairs,
Fear through sight,
Hate their love.

Yours, with derision,
Watcher.

Author notes

I was considering putting in some big pauses but I thought that would be talking down to my audience.

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1 - 5 of 5

  • k8fairy
    November 17
    Edit | Reply
    Revise last paragraph.


  • ladybug.
    September 6
    Edit | Reply
    Well, first off, I'd like to mention that I love the way you started and ended it. It's amazing.

    Next, the title. Lots of complicated words that mean so much; and that's just the title!

    Amazing words: perversely, stasis, tandem, derision.

    The only thing I might change is a grammatical "error"; instead of putting the comma after "yours" at the end, I think it would be better suited after "derision", but that's just me (: great work.

    • k8fairy
      September 6

      Edit | Reply
      I never intended any grammatical errors (I'm not good at grammer, I don't really know what the rules are).
      What would you do if you wanted to put a slight pause after the your? Perhaps a seperate line? What would be the grammatically correct way to get that effect?

      Thank you for pointing out the error, I really value it when I get comments like yours.

      • ladybug.
        September 6

        Edit | Reply
        If you're going for a pause effect, try leaving the comma after "yours" and then adding one after "derision." That should portray what you're going for (:

1 - 5 of 5