The lights unforgotten
are not the stars we see above.
It's the light in every soul,
the heart and all the love.
It goes unforgotten,
that with this light we stand.
Across the world we all unite,
light with light, hand in hand.
Those who choose to ignore it,
just don't understand,
The power in these lights
will change the world and make a stand.
We can make a better place,
little by little each day.
As long as we have each other,
and the lights to guide our way.
- People with Disabilities group list • next in list
Sorry about the rhyme in verse 3... But other than that tell me what you think! :D Oh and if you don't mind can you tell me what you think about the rhyme in verse 3? Thanks :D
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
precious!
I love the concept that each of our soul's is a light that illuminates the way for each other. There is a belief that each of us has our own personal star that is a representation of our soul. I think it was Plato who wrote about it to the western world. Beautiful poem you wrote here.
may we all bring our lights together and make the world a brighter place for all...
-
I think you did a good job... Very interesting poem. I like how it looks at things from a different point of view and leaves room for everyone to wonder and ponder about it. Good write. The 3rd verse is fine. I'd leave it how it is now.
-
gorgeous ^_^
-
Still beautiful in my book, hugs Theresa
-
Very nice poetry. Stanza three's rhyme. All I can suggest off-hand to match the meter is possibly changing line three to; "will change the world at hand." Something like that.


-
very hallmark
-
flawless perfection!
and one mighty reminder
for us all!
ears/Seattle
WAY TO FEARLESSLY WRITE
and SHINE your Bold ink and life.


-
Wow, this is really beautiful


-
this iz really good great job
-
really good poem
and its true, if we just tried we could get along just fine.
thanks for the read -
I so enjoyed your uplifitng poem. I agree with GotLit with the changes they suggested. Keep up the wonderful writing, keep writing from the heart too me that is what makes the best poets. Hugs Theresa


-
wow really good!
-
Its. good. I like it. I really wish i wrote it because i have been havingwritersblock for the last 2 months. You should change the backround to stars tho.

-
I think the rhyme is ok. I would change the last line in verse 3 to
"will change the world" Last verse you need a space between each and other.
It is a lovely poem. I like your positive attitude.


-
This was really good.
I loved th flow to it.
It relaxed me. Always need
to red some good poems to relax me. Thanks for shaing this.
1 - 15 of 15













