Touch me.
Hold me.
Love me.
Love me.
Tease me.
Touch me.
Touch me.
Bite me.
Kiss me.
Caress, fondle
whatever you please.
Just please, hun, touch me.
Back me up against the wall
as my breathing hitches in my throat.
Your lips pressed to my neck.
Your hands an iron grip around my wrists.
Your body so close to mine.
I can feel our temperatures rise.
Your lips so soft
move lower down my neck.
What started out as a gentle kiss
becomes more animalistic.
Kiss me.
Bite me.
Touch me.
Touch me.
Tease me.
Love me.
Love me.
Hold me.
Touch me.
Our bodies so close,
wanting to be one.
Let our bodies melt
in this passionate love.
Our bodies move in sync
to this internal beat.
Hold me.
Touch me.
Kiss me.
Love me.
Please hun, Touch me.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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It certainly conveys a point.
It does have a certain powerful voice to it, it is not begging, but not demanding either more of a kind of dance where you seem to be pulling the other onward. Very well done, I like it.
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condense it....the feelings get to drawn out and could be much more powerful in one shot like...."hold me, I'm falling....Touch me, I'm alone...
Great use of description..."my breathing hitches" -
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Thanks. And yes I shall work on condensing it, you're right shorter would be more powerful. I really appreciate the constructive criticism!
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