mindless wonder

the mindless wonder of the world
told not to think or care shes in a selfless twirl
to find what really matters in life
to kick the habit to get rid of the strife
cluttered mind
thoughts wondering around some never so kind
told to be the mindless wonder
confidence has never played a part striking like thunder
many faces and many disguises
thoughts that are supposed to be gone,but here hating and despises
supposed to be happy all the time in a consistent smile
here, there, gone again, only for a while
never in one place to much
leaning away hating the slightest touch
mind racing cant look back
open it up and here comes the attack
the onslaught begins
within my mind no one wins
time to look time to race
trying to find a forgiving place
not here never there
no one says a word, they don't dare
calling around trying to get out
not again lights dim, here it comes I have no doubt
racing again never saved
lights going gone they caved
reaching for a hand out in the dark
two have held me, made their mark
falling,crying, leave me alone
they always yell in some angry tone
tell me you love me and you'll never go away
pull me out to see the light of day
get me out of the misery I stand in
for once I want to live I want to win
life a mess called worse by you
crying my eyes out what did I do?
remembering memories past
hoping memories gone and none will last
tormented by you in the endless night
waking up ready to fight
scared out of my mind I am at wits end
this kind of damage you can never mend
calling for some one to come and save me
why cant you be here, to come and make me see
darkness dimming my sight
tired of the endless night
sleeping for an hour or two
all is good but my nightmare comes through
up again I cant go back to sleep
I lay there in silence to cry and weep
the thought of you drives me mad
enough so to make me eternally mad
too tired to fight
in this timeless night
let alone the days of now, make me see
what I am really meant to be