Creeping in the shadows
Claws scratching trees' leaves
Fangs sewn together by sticky saliva
I watch silently like a log
You have the freshest glow upon your skin
Your eyes are radiant with gleam
The symphonies your throat plays
make me long, uncontrolled, for a lonesome bite
The curves your arms take
as you fill your crystal jar from the lake
my jaws drop, they tremble
demanding for this desire to be unleashed
I creep on and on, careful not to make a sound
your innocent trust in your surroundings
gives me advantages upon your charm
as I creep on and on
Your eyes lock with mine, I exhale
Fear is visibly slithering into you, turning me on
With one leap as your fear freezes you
I grasp you in my hold
You're too weak to fight me
So give up, sweet angel, let me feast upon you
Hunger has taken the lead & I so long
to plant my fangs and claws in your flesh
Let me taste your blood upon my tongue
Tonight me and you will write a loving song
Give in, my beloved prey
(C)Noor 8/25/2009
Author notes
Contest prompt:
Prompt 1: The Point Of View Of...A Monster!
That's right. Write me a poem where you're a monster. You see the world through a monster's eyes. Whether you're beneath a kid's bed, in someone's closet, or something even more sinister...it's up to you. Be creative and supply imagery.
Wow! This was an advanture. lol
Thanks for reading!
In a list
A contest entry
- Take A Walk In A Monster's Shoes by Miss Macabre.
650 points, ended August 26, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any suggestions for improvement?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Not dark enough
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well well..what can i say..such passion and skill in your art...wonderful...p.s if all vampires looked like you then ..here is my neck......keep well and take care....eric
oh and don't revise this poem it is perfect as it is...congratulations...and thanks
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Hhhhhh!! Noooo! I am not a vampire so I have to turn you down.
Thanks for this uplifting comment.
Love
~Noor
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Great take on the prompt oh I do have one suggestion
don't revise this write it's amazing the way it is
Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good luck
-♥Amy♥ -
Very beautiful, the imagery is raw and the monster's desire is blatant. I have some suggestions:
uncontroled > uncontrolled
full > fill
Other then that, this is perfect. I love: [Fangs sewn together by sticky saliva]. Very chilling. Thanks for entering and best of luck.
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Hehe, you got to excuse my english for these two mistakes, however I corrected them, thanks.
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Stealthy
This had quite a stealthy feel to it - congrats! The only thing I would change is the word 'full' to 'fill' in line 10 as it is in the present tense. God idea having it from the monster's perspective.
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Sensual and sinister
what a combo...
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