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Lights Out

The sun is old and bleeding
None of the band-aids are working
I feel like this is my shining moment
even if I'm made of the opposite

Nightmares don't exist without me
I am part of The Boogeymans cutlery
I can steam and be sipped strong
Drink me up to feel the burn

Melt most peoples intentions
And you'll see my ingredients
Also whats a stage without its main performer?
I hide the things thruth shouldn't bother

Drape the sun
The Society has blind hope
We're all piņatas awaiting the bat
When there's a touch you know its lights out

Author notes

What color am I?

A contest entry

What do you think?

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Haygood gold member
    August 29

    Edit | Reply

    This is really good.

    This one works better as a free-verse. The imagery is very good. Some of these lines I wish were mine.
    Melt most peoples intentions
    And you'll see my ingredients
    This grabs me hard. Be proud of this one. Reading the AN helped understand the poem though. This is a pointed poem as opposed to a general poem. Enjoyed it.


  • Melee Vau gold member
    August 29

    Edit | Reply
    love this poem.. rich imagery especially like the pinatas awaiting the bat!! and the verse:
    Nightmares don't exist without me
    I am part of The Boogeymans cutlery
    I can steam and be sipped strong
    Drink me up to feel the burn


  • Xxcant runxX
    August 29
    Edit | Reply

    Black?

    Great job loverhia poem


  • maktub
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    but black, of course. Good write, though I would have liked a bit more...flow, maybe. Not necessarily rhyme, but for such a piece, the words flowing together like liquid would have definitely been a plus. Well done, regardless.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    well...i bet..you thought you were describing BLACK...however...
    I would say the color is a flowing crimson red...the color that flows
    to our hearts when oxygen hits it.

    because damn...you were fearless...and when you cut right through it...
    we all bleed the truths...in the color crimson red.

    well done!
    Lovely poem to enjoy!
    ears/Seattle


  • ivoire gold member
    August 24

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Grat response to the prompt - you can see and feel the color. Your feelings are clear and though sad, beautifully stated. You have much to say and a gift for writing. I will look forward to seeing more!!

    ivoire


  • TwiztidMaggot
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    this is pretty good. I like how you wrote it. keep up your great work. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.


    TwiztidMaggot


  • emma...
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    The imagery in this is beautiful. One type is in the last stanza in the 3rd line; "were" should be "we're." Incredible job with this. I think the color is black, am I right?
    Thanks for entering, and good luck

  • emma...
    August 24
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, I just commented because I thought this was for another contest I'm holding I am way too tired! I'll be back in a little while to read and comment on this.

1 - 11 of 11