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~To Thee I Shall Belong~





Yo! Snow flakes befall yourselves in my ears,
speak to me of winter-cold nights & tears.
Cut yourselves alive in my sleeping passion,
reagitate these burned-out love coals.

Bring forth all those memories I so exhale,
shutter these walls I so wish to repel.
Inch his arms closer to my soul,
let me drown in his name & perfume.

I so long to be protected from the cold,
this freezing wind which my heart beholds.
His presence shall take all that I fear,
reclaim my strength, he shall be my gear.

In the cold I wish not to swim any more,
so save me, little flakes & call him to my throne.
Go whisper in his ears of my despair,
let him awaken & of my state be aware.

May his arms bring me warmth inside,
May his breaths teach my lungs to dance.
For he knows the key to this soul's door
& he's the defeat-er of the monsters I abhor.

Let his paces be as gentle as the breeze,
his heart as fragile as my tears, & his
arms, let them be as strong as stones.
Contain me thee, for to thee, and thee alone
I wish to belong.










(C)Noor 8/25/2009

Author notes

Contest prompt:
"hug me because I feel so cold"

This was not suppose to rhyme, but some lines just did, naturally.

Thanks for reading!

In a list

A contest entry

Any suggestions for improvement?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • awannabepoet
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    And so it was that love was where the heart belonged and in some loving arms is where it does feel so strong.

    I like it, I like it so!


  • AngelBellerose gold member
    September 7
    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you penned this poem
    and the feel you displayed for you message gave
    thank you hugs Angel♥


  • crivanea silver member
    September 3

    Edit | Reply
    lol...you first word "yo!" lol! now that was different from the "thee" ...felt like i switched century beautiful lines poet..wonderful imagery...just lovely I too like the stanza the comment below me pointed out

  • Firstly, good luck in the contest, with this beautiful dreamy write...*sigh*

    My favorite part was:
    'I so long to be protected from the cold,
    this freezing wind which my heart beholds.
    His presence shall take all that I fear,
    reclaim my strength, he shall be my gear.'

    You truly have a magical pen...


  • guardian-angel90 gold member
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful work of art, if only i had half as much talent as you, i would be set. Keep up the good work.

  • I love all of the beautiful, relatable emotion in this piece
    Beautiful!

  • I didn't understand the lines that said inch his arms closer to my soul, let me drown in his name & perfume. Are you referring to the snowflakes or a person?

  • I really began to feel this poem around the lines that said "I so long to be protected from the cold, this freezing wind which my heart beholds. His presence shall take all that I fear, reclaim my strength, he shall be my gear. At some point in our lives
    we all feel the same way


  • Eric Marsh
    August 31

    Edit | Reply

    mm

    i think every reader of a poem interprets it differently..as i see from the comments below..some see you wanting to be in the arms of the man you love......some don't know lol....some look at the form and structure.....hhhhmmm......well i think i must be going crazy..or i have smoked too many joints....but...this poem....GOD and LOVE jumps out of every word...keep well and take care my friend


  • Andre ben-YEHU
    August 26

    Edit | Reply

    Bountifuly-Wonderful...


    Refined rhythm, outstanding symbolism, brilliant lexicon, imagery and flow. "To Thee I Shall Belong" glows.

    Art, knowledge and sublime music met to make this a poetic excellence.

    Much gratitude to the author of "To Thee I Shall Belong" for sharing her gifts of art, wisdom and beauty.

    In respect and admiration,

    Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU


  • mcope8050
    August 26

    Edit | Reply

    oh my,,,, what a tribute

    you stated that this "wasn't supposed to rhyme,,, but some line did naturally",,,, the rhymes were amazingly powerful rhymes,,,, from the first line...

    Yo! Snow flakes befall yourselves in my ears,
    speak to me of winter-cold nights & tears.

    my attention was demanded here!!!

    His presence shall take all that I fear,
    reclaim my strength, he shall be my gear.

    wisdomatic!!!

    For he knows the key to this soul's door
    & he's the defeat-er of the monsters I abhor.


    Faith in his protection from Monsters of life/mind

    thanks for this one,,,, a pleasure to read/experience,,,michael




  • AngelBellerose gold member
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    so gifted you are in words of song
    to tantalize the mind..you heart
    is the essence a gift of mind
    this is beautiful dear one
    Hugs always love...♥♥


  • Aelten
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    Not only is there lovely rhyme here, but also great slant rhyme!
    I love this~ like a prayer with fragile, delicate words....
    That second stanza is so beautiful!!
    Best wishes,
    A~


  • individuality gold member
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful show of talent here which grabs the reader and sparkles them into smiles of pleasure, admiration drips like butter from toast as i sit here and dream of poetry.


  • Ken-Maverick
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    He is a lucky man indeed,
    a gorgeous write for sure.


  • sgking123 gold member
    August 25

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Noor,now that was a beautiful poem and I loved each line of it.Well done poet I am rather elated to see you write so very elegantly.The flow of this poem took my breath away and the contents were so very touching. I knew you were a very soft soul that has a tender heart and a well protected conscience.All of them were in full view.A tremedous poem. I loved these lines so much...now come on...you did excel with these:

    May his arms bring me warmth inside,
    May his breaths teach my lungs to dance.
    For he knows the key to this soul's door
    & he's the defeat-er of the monsters I abhor.

  • Nafrititi
    August 25

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely and intense

    It shows yr depth of feeling for the love.
    I cry with you and share your pain.........

  • David2009
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    Superb brilliant a masterpiece. Well done. Hush everyone!! for we are in the presence of greatness.

  • beautiful, this had a good flow to it, take care

  • refinnej
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    BRRR!! it just makes me cold reading it. It seems that i am always alone in the winter months and know how you long to be held in someone's strong arms and soul warmed up. Very nice!!

  • wonderful I love the way this was put
    Let his paces be as gentle as the breeze,
    his heart as fragile as my tears, & his
    arms, let them be as strong as stones.
    Contain me thee, for to thee, and thee alone
    I wish to belong.
    is one of my fav lines. You have done well on this keep it up and good luck.

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