These nightmares are keeping me awake
They don’t allow me to be free from this bar and chain I’m living on
I want to step outside of these four bedroom walls
I want to go out into this world with people my own age
I hate being stuck in one fucking spot feeling that there is no where else
No where else I can feel at home at
When you tell me I’m having a pity party, I hate your close-mindedness
I will show you a fucking pity party when I need to
I will be covered in cuts and gashes
I will attempt to watch myself heal and be okay on my own
But I’m not going to do that to make you understand
If you don’t want to take the time to understand me
That is your own fucking problems
I place my problems out there, you always complain about that
So why can’t you just sit and listen so you can understand?
You don’t even bother to read my poetry which expresses how I feel
But that doesn’t fucking matter to you
I love that strangers can read my poetry and tell me about it
But you can’t even take the time out of your busy schedule to sit and talk to me
Maybe I’m not worth the time
Maybe I am what my mother called me
A no good piece of shit
I am fucking sick of sitting here allowing myself to die
My feelings are dying
My hopes are dying
I am, altogether, dying
But that isn’t the issue everyday, that doesn’t matter
Let’s live life like it is perfect, like we don’t have a problem in the world
Let’s go home and fight about the money and who is going to clean
I am done trying to be someone you want to love
I am going to be myself
If you want to know who that is, then maybe one day you might speak to me
Maybe you might learn how much I am hurting
How much I cry and wish it would just end
All I know is that someone needs to come and take me home
Wherever that may be
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