Much Worse!

Dear Nathan,

We've been dating for a year and a half or so;
And, I feel there are somethings you need to know.
In my heart, I believe we should each find someone new.
I'm pregant, and the child doesn't belong to you.
I can't recall which guy, of the twenty I've slept with,
Got me with child; though, I'm betting on the fifth.
But, because I'm sure I'll find my child's father in jail,
My optimistic views on this situation have yet to fail.

Once I find him, I'm sure he'll want me by his side;
Don't you think I'll make a lovely, preggo bride?
We'll probably live in a trailer in the middle the wood;
And, we'll do what every good mom and dad should.
We'll find a way to scrape on by; I was thinking we'd sell Weed.
I heard that growing it would give us all the money we'd need.
I'm hoping that we'll earn enough money for some surgey;
I want to become a man! I'm tired of being a lady!

So, these are my future plans and, as you can tell,
There's no room for you in my life; aw well!
You know I love you, and I always will.
Well, wish me luck! I hope I have good farming skills!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Nathan,
The only part in the above text that's true,
Is the part that says, "I love you."
This was all just to remind you that there's worse things, by far,
Than the two little scratches I just put in your new car!