A reflection of my smile
in the glow of your face,
An acceptance of my energy
with the intensity of your laugh,
An expression of respect,
over my independant hard work.
A shake in your voice when calming me down
as you hear the cry of my heart.
An appreciation frequently mentioned
over my gesture's given.
A pride in your socializing
of my intellectual mind.
A love for me you try so hard to hide,
Yet, your actions already spoke for you!
Is it possible; I ask myself....
To ONE DAY love you this much too?
Opinion of structure in poem, suggestions.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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a lovely poem, wonderful heartfelt words. Open words, easily understood, just the right kind for a love poem...well done...PK
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as you hear the cry of my heart.
Very pretty and poetic, I really liked this poem and the picture helps the image. -
I enjoyed the poem very much.
I loved the simplicity of metaphors that you use.
I like these lines especially:
"A love for me you try so hard to hide,
Yet, your actions already spoke for you!"
Action is the main thing that speaks of love definitely.
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This person seems too intent on how much they are loved themselves to return it! An economy of style describes all the essential ingredients of appreciation of one by another. Nice work.
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I personally enjoyed the format...
as you had ...some thought-ful tastes to chew upon and enjoy-
your format let us all slow down and sip, enjoy your poetry.
(you don't need the comma's...remember, comma's are the equivalent of saying
the word...and...)
Rolling my eyes to the heavens oh..how the comma torments me too!
THe last verse....you should keep your structure consistent and put a blank
after...already spoke for you.
A love for me you try so hard to hide,
Yet, your actions already spoke for you!
Is it possible, I ask myself....
To ONE DAY love you this much too?
ears/Seattle
to keep the format flawlessly smooth!
WELL DONE...WAY TO WRITE!
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