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poem




in the field behind the house
tiny birds perch on the tips of the grass,

it is dark, you forget to buy food,
hungry for something else,

your eardrums build a picture of the world,
there is a monster inside your ribs,

you think about the way muscles cling to bones, the
skin parts gently, there is a

world beneath,

you wonder what a beating heart would feel like
in your hands, slippery and firm, sweetly
metallic,

unfathomable,

as if you were suddenly nestled
in a foreign body which rejected you,

despite the drugs, the careful placement, the
way the body needs you, but would rather die
than allow you houseroom.

Author notes

waking up dead, inside of my head
would never, never do, there is no med
no medicine to take
I’ve had a chance to be insane
asylum from the falling rain
I’ve had a chance to break

...

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • aeolia
    October 1

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    this is so immensely gorgeous to the point at which i can't even organise my thoughts enough to explain why. still, i know the feeling and you make it prettier, more realistic, almost, than i have felt it.

    adding you to my favourites!


    • philosphyofkate
      October 1
      Edit | Reply
      yay! thank you. sometimes i feel like i'll never be able to honestly describe what i'm feeling. but i can't stop trying.


  • Jettison
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    i've missed you.

    i mean, i've missed your poetry, yes. But i've really, really missed YOU. It's been way too long.

    i can't quite grasp this one. i think because what i want it to say and what it says are two different things. i keep waiting for someone to write my poetry for me...

    but the words are... so well chosen. i don't even care what they mean all together. i just want to read the words.

    • philosphyofkate
      September 15
      Edit | Reply
      i think it's about having a dark half. a person inside of you so terrible that you think about killing yourself just to kill that person.

      i miss you too. and i miss writing. i feel like i am waiting around for something big to happen.


  • tara wilson gold member
    August 25
    Edit | Reply
    i've missed your poems.


  • the atlantic
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    oh my god. this has to be my favorite thing you have ever written.

    i'm so glad we've stayed in touch for so long via ap....hope you and lil soph are doing well. i'm bookmarking this as well. geez kate, write more because this is brlliant. subject matter i have seen no other touch on. you amaze. <3

  • Rowan gold member
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    .
    This hurts. sigh. Glad to see you posting here again though.


  • autarky
    August 23
    Edit | Reply
    holy shit. bookmarked.

1 - 12 of 12