Flames beckoned hearts' longing to compile.
Roars & laments seemed to mix in silence, thus
silent they were rendered before the dawn.
Beheaded was their chance of hands' clasps,
shreded was their hope of clapped lips.
He moved forth, she backed away, scared
he'll soon blow his roars in dismay.
She longed for his grazing touches, he got
burned every time her skin he caressed.
His talons scared her none, she was endearing
for his love. Her heart would hasten the pace
when his tail enclaves her flames.
Her ashes he seemed to adore, his smoking
nostrils she seemed to behold.
Sacred was their affection, forbidden was
their passion, sealed in heaven where fire
dwells.
She soon will burn to ashes & be reborn
He soon will adopt her laments & be-gone
& thus the Dragon fell in love with the Phoenix
(C)Noor 8/24/2009
Author notes
lol, I was reading Twilight's quote 'The lion fell in love with the lamb' but I don't like lambs and I like myth creatures so I rephrased. An expirement. 
Was trying to cheer myself up... worked. 
Thanks for reading!
In a list
Any suggestions for improvement?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow, this was amazing. Breathtaking, Enchanting. And so lovely it was, and quite a nice vocabulary there. This 'experimental' piece was indeed a success. Continue your brilliant writing my friend
Wyakin
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Wonderful...
Interesting subject dealt here. Impressive story. This can be worked out to its poetential, (Poetic Potential) through a revision to eliminate the prosaic in it.
"When the Dragon fell for the Phoenix" has its poetential, and will sing with a clearly voice if the author decides to revise it.
In respect and admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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good read, beautifully written with vivid imagery - especially liked the closing lines:
"She soon will burn to ashes & be reborn
He soon will adopt her laments & be-gone"
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this is good!
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Wow
I love this poem. It reminds me a lot of how I feel for this guy and this poem is just perfect to me.
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oh yeah!
Uhm i meant to ask ^^, What does endearing mean, i totally forgot to ask and i hate not to know words.
thx.
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Endearing: adjective: lovable especially in a childlike or naive way.
You can always find words meanings in this site: http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rh yme.cgi?Word=endearing&typeofrhyme=def&org1=syl&org2=l
Hope this helped.
Thanks for the sweet comment, too.
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Love it.
^^ I really like this poem. It's very descriptive and beautifully written. I actually made me smile to.
I as do many others probably, wish i could write this descriptive, and well.
Have a good day hun
Akira. -
I really love this poem. Im a huge fan of anything to do with myths and legends so this is perfect for me. I love the brilliantly descriptive love story between them both. I really wish I could write like this
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Sweetly done Noor
i love the mythical side to everything.
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wanna hear me roar?
This is Great!!
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very interesting. i love odd poems about mystical creatures falling in love. i would never have thought of a dragon and phoenix, but i will say you wrote a fine poem and managed to avoid it being cheesy. well done.
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I love this
Being a Dragon in Chinese astrology, and liken to a phoenix in ways, this touched my heart. Both so intense that it's hard to find love that you won't kill.
Beautifully written and I like the replacement of the phoenix and dragon v. lion and lamb.
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Woah...
I loved it, especially how you described the physical differences between the two majestic creatures! Their love was pictured as such a beautiful and passionate thing, so divine and forbidden. I saw it mainly metaphorical. The feedback I have is the line "he soon will adopt her laments..." I was questioning the exact meaning of that precise line.
Kudos, my dear~
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Oh! First thanks alot for this wonderful comment and second about the line you questioned. I just thought since he loved her so much by the time she burns and be reborn as an infant phoenix who obviously can't sing as the adult ones, he'd have learned her songs and will recall her shining beauty through them since she can not sing as before any more, he'll sing for her, he'll sing her laments as his sadness build for his loss.
Hope this cleared it, forgive my english.
Love
~Noor
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