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warmth

Missing image

 

 

 

 

                                               her skin
felt like looking through a waterfall
on a mid winter’s night


her voice
       wrapped around him
like the gentle lull of July
then carried him to a home
he’d never been before
        

and as he wondered
how one woman
could lace his doubts
          to his dreams and call it
love

she was collecting the stars
being born in his

                                eyes 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I was inspired by the image above by Talantbek Chekirov called "Moment of Peace"


I imagined 'him' stood just outside of the image...and I imagined her personality outside of this single frame.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • sgking123 gold member
    November 13

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    will not say anything.just picking the best outta already 2good piece:
    and as he wondered
    how one woman
    could lace his doubts
    to his dreams and call it
    love

  • bballer21
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    wow. i loved this poem. every single word of it. this was a truly beautiful piece. and i also love the picture. it compliments the writing. you are very creative! fantastic job and keep on continuing to write!


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    this is an exquisite poem, like much of your work, it contains elements of many major poets and yet is completely original, your formatting is in perfect accord with the thematic elements they press forward ... this is one of the poems on your excellent website ... I have been there often ... I wish I had more time, but sometimes I just make room for it anyhow

    your poetry is original and beautiful ... you are a major talent

    for ex. ... first three lines here and last three lines here are a poem separately and also by themselves ... you have many elements of the tenderness of japanese short poetry as well as some of the longing and intensity of Neruda as well as Cohen.

    I shall read more of your poetry, as soon as I am able to just enjoy a few days and read ...

    Danny


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is so captivating and beautiful, how amazing love is in this world, you have captured grace and tenderness in this piece so beautifully. Well done. best to you in the contest


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    Gold oh I am so pleased for you
    I totally agree with Megz with this award
    I loved that whole piece ..and I loved the image too
    Julie


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, so romantic, and beautiful to read. Leaves me with a soft ~Sigh~ You captivated this reader here for sure, thanks for sharing, and congrates on your well earned gold in the contest! Write on!

    -Timothy

  • sgking123 gold member
    September 20
    Edit | Reply

    this tole my heart away

    wow....this was equisitely crafted...and really well done...I loved each innuendo and revolving sugegst. My my this would have set afire any guy who was the topic of your attention.Awesome dear.Tahnks for sharing.I am glad i did click by it.

  • Topnotchsy
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write. I really like the imagery of the opening stanza. Taking a visual experience and using it as a metaphor for a tactile one was something that got me thinking.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    August 29

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the Gold!

    A beauty of a poem
    loved how you sculpted and shaped it!

    You should really share this with the Gluttons For Punishment
    writing group...to peel their hearts wide open with it's beauty~
    they'll love ya for it!

    ears/Seattle sis
    GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT SALUTE!


  • Lowell Poe
    August 29

    Edit | Reply
    Such magic here lass,
    what a fine , fine piece of art to start the day.
    Simply beautiful.
    It was like walkin in cool rain,
    had a dream feel to it,
    and the perspective it was written from.....
    like a quiet reflection.
    There is stardust here don't ya know little gypsy,
    you should be proud of this,
    of course your comments are always valued on my work
    because of the beautiful art you create.

    Bless your heart lass,
    Liam

  • J Macabre gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    This was very spiritual and had a strong sense of romance in it. A well deserved gold id say. I think your quite adept at metaphor and symbolism...very impressive.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow; this was stunning.
    I love the scenery you've captured
    here and the deeply woven concepts
    just bursting from the page. I love
    the story you've crafted here so
    cleverly. Loved your use of metaphors too.

    Best of luck & thanks for entering


  • peluche
    August 25

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I loved the word choice in this piece. I also got a lot more out of your message reading it exactly how it was placed on the page. The picture was gorgeous. Your poem brought so much more meaning and sentiment to the image. With your piece, I could imagine so much more detail in the photo. I like your title. For some reason, it made me focus more on the red tones surrounding the young woman. Maybe that was your intention..lol It was great to see your work again after a long absence. Take care


  • Xxcant runxX
    August 25
    Edit | Reply
    wow great job


  • Hikari Lady
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    You've written this so softly and in a magical way, the images that game to my mind were breath taking. You've taken the picture and made it yours with your woven imagery and wonderful chosen words. best of luck in the contest.

    Love
    ~Noor


  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    I like the imaged you've portrayed of him watching her in wonderment.
    You've penned this well. Good luck in the contest.


  • The Drifter
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful images, adds new meaning to the term "Srar Struck", astounded by the beauty of the Heavenly Lights.
    Maybe a good description of love at first sight?
    A very good poem, I like.


  • MissingBatteries
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    Simply gorgeous. I have read through it a few times, and your images leave me breathless as I try to imagine how he must feel; that is hard to accomplish as I am quite the connoisseur or oxygen...and now you are inspiring my comment. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful piece!


  • chilali
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    this is simply beautiful love. the softness in this piece -- wow! seriously. i am in awe. it is so darn pretty! haha. love it! good luck in the contest. and i love the artist as well, especially this picture. i think you've done justice to it!

1 - 19 of 19