Life's a gift which is granted to very few
waste not a moment in trying to comply,
gods grand plan of which you are a mere tool
in the next moment you may even die...
It is a boon, to be born with a soul,
and live a life with a heart and a mind.
Then why waste it finding its need or goal,
when its bestowed upon you to be enjoyed
Through life we see the creation of our God,
its a tour in which we see his diverse forms.
Love and live your life and thank the Great Lord,
accept his grants with ever open arms...
It is a miracle that today we live,
Its meaning will dawn, if we will believe...
Author notes
This my first attempt in writing a poem in a specific form.
This is supposed to be a Sonnet, you can all help me make it more refined (or worth calling it a Sonnet if its that bad!) but the message is clear as day!
thanks for the awesome prompt,
thanks for the comment( you are going to make!)
Prompt -
Is there some meaning to this life?
What purpose lies behind the strife?
Whence do we come, where are we bound?
These cold questions echo and resound
through each day, each lonely night.
We long to find the splendid light
that will case a revelatory beam
upon the meaning of the human dream
-- THE BOOK OF COUNTED SORROWS
A contest entry
- Inspired by Quotes Form Series #2 by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended September 8, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
ALL CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS WELCOME!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thank you for your entry
Well, the form was not done very well at all. They rhyme was not consistent, the syllable count was not consistent and the meter was not consistent. It was a good try though and the content of the poem was solid. A few errors in grammar. God is always to be capitalized. Please see the rubric below for further details.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Criteria
20-18
Exceptional
17-14
Innovative
13-10
Commendable
9-6
Competent
5-1
Emerging
Score
Prompt Development
Expresses and develops meaningful and original perspective on prompt
Expressive and developed treatment of the prompt
Adequate focus and lacks form development
Some focus on prompt but lacks development
Unfocused and unclear
13
Organization
Form of poem appropriately and powerfully addresses the subject , each line focuses on prompt
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject focus maintained throughout
Form of poem is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
Form is appropriate to the subject, focus maintained throughout
9
Poetic Language & Imagery
Sensory details and figurative language create vivid images that contribute significantly to the meaning of the poem; sound devices such as rhyme, alliteration, or onomatopoeia are used effectively to contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative languages and sound devices contribute to the meaning of the poem
Sensory details, figurative language and sound devices may be overused, underused or inappropriate to the topic
Confusing or inappropriate use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
No use of sensory details, figurative language or sound devices
13
Use of Language
Word choice is vivid and exact throughout; grammar, mechanics and usage are correct, enhancing the thoughts and images
Precise word choice; minimal errors in mechanics
Word choice occasionally vague, repetitive or imprecise; few errors in grammar, mechanics or usage
Word choices tend to be vague, repetitive or imprecise; some errors in grammar, mechanics or usage present
Consistently difficult to understand due to errors in grammar, mechanics and usage
13
Overall Impact
Poem captivates and inspires reader; is an excellent representation of the prompt/form
Poem attracts reader’s attention; is a good representation of the prompt/form
Poem is adequate and provides a reasonable representation of the prompt. Form is not developed well
Poem lacks inspiration
Poem fails to inspire
10
Length (five stanzas)
Disqualify any poem exceeding line limit by five lines
58/100
Total
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Lovely in sentiment
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Beautifully written!!
As you know, I am going to point out that you should work on the rhyme, but if you're not going for rhyme.. then this is a wonderful poem. Great job!! Glory to God in the highest!!
It has a wonderful message that should be spread the whole world over. Well done bro.
~Gin
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yes Gin, I am still working on the rhyme, its a little odd in L3 of stanza one, though when said aloud it rhymes quite nice...!!
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Life is said to be a gift granted to very few but I doubt if everyone will agree to this statement. At certain state of mind
we may think so about life but as I open my eyes wide I often find it not to be true for many around me.What I am to think of those whose life is not much worthy than a dead person?
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of them you can say that they waste their life or that they are suffering due to the sins they have committed in their past life...
thanks for the comment...
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This is lovely. The message is loving and true. Sonnets are written in many forms.
You have done well.
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