It's not that I detect love
on your breath when you blow my
bangs off of my eyelids like
candles on a cake of dust.
But I do see the strands shift,
the platinum threads in your
baby blacks. It's just that in
the pucker of your blowing
lips I can never see the
end.
A contest entry
- Take My Breath Away by Love Is Heartless.
600 points, ended November 4, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
You have an amazing talent (I think I may have said that before).
like candles on a cake of dust - genius simile.
If i was just a tad younger I'd swim the Atlantic to come and look for you.
K
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This is suprisingly tender and I like the alliteration, esp. in baby blacks (never thought of such before but how appealing since I like dark eyes) - deftly done.
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Damnation this is a fine poem!
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