My Precious Son

It has been one year my precious son
I had all this time to get this done,
But my soul is finding it impossible
to except what can’t be undone
Not one moment of every hour
do my thoughts escape from you
Others may see me smiling,
But in my heart,

your love I constantly review

I don’t’ know how to let you go
or to except your face I shall no longer see
From the first movement of life

you lived inside of me

How does a mother say and  acccept

that she will no longer see her first-born son

All the things we shared are at an end

and all the things we have done?

I refuse to believe a life so kind and good

Should be taken away

Did I not see, or somehow misunderstood?

Random thoughts over-crowds my mind

of precious memories you left behind

For thirty-nine years I have loved

and cherished you

Then without a warning

you were gone, without a clue

The little boy whose hair I combed

so many school mornings

Had been taken away, cut like a knife,

without any warning

The little baby I sat on my lap

and sang to so many times

You were my breathe of spring

 my little piece of sunshine

How can it be after so many years

a mother must visit her child’s grave?

Had I lived such a terrible life

that God decided to take my sunshine away?

You were such a good young man

so kind and forgiving

You were my friend, my confidant

in a world constantly changing

Memories of you linger in my heart

every day I am thankful for thoe times

and there they will forever stay

No more on me to shine

Knowing this is my reality

my heart grieves for you even more

I sit in my room and look up occasionally

to see you at my door

However, no more does my Billy

come to me anymore

God has taken that time from me

and has permanently closed the door

Oh, how can a life change itself

in such a devastating state?

In the summer of your life

with so much left to appreciate

As distinctive and unique

our special love had become

You thanked our God in heaven

for the many things He had done

I don’t know why

nor do I pretend to understand

However, I do realize life

and death is holding to Gods hand

He doesn’t need a reason

or have to explain why

Sometime’s it’s just so hard to except

Why my precious Billy had to die

I love you my son

and in my heart you will always remain alive

My arms will always long to hold you

many more tears to fall from my eyes

Till once again

God allow's me to be at your side

Where there will be no more tears or sorrow

to ever fall from these weary eyes

As each day comes and goes

and people continue there daily task

They can’t’ even imagine or know

in my heart I constantly ask

Why did my Billy have to go?

 Written and Composed By:

Nancy Bailey- Whitmore-Shields

Copyright 2008