You are distant in miles
occasionally in heart, and mind
I LOVE YOU SOO.....
But as your actions show,
I ASK, with denials' approach
Are you for me, my loves Kind?
YOU SEE...
I held my breath as the clock ticked its time by
Hopes with the heights of this earths sky
Yet, still an emptiness
that seems greater than your understanding,
which for me is sadenning
You held out to me the riches,a golden cup
I peered inside, the blackest proportion of mass,
YOU ARE LACKING TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY CLASS.
As you saw the expression upon my face
I stood in silence, my heart in its breaking
I wondered what attempt you were making,
THEN.........
I felt your flush of concern,
HOWEVER....
I realized "YOUR LOVE FOR ME" is something
you are still trying to learn.
It's your longing that met it's time
for a life thats been deprived,
ALTHOUGH NOW......
A woman's come along, a convenient mold
I guess that's what got me sold.
FOR.....
It's not the shine of my hair
NOR,
the dephts of passion in my eyes,
It's not the chimed song in my laugh,
Or a pain inside you, when you hear my cries.
A friendship's higher importance to you
Was flashed in my face,
With your expectation, of me to simply embrace
As I swallowed, and observed my value to you
obviously not that high
I excepted this reality
along with its cruelty.
Days hours have passed by,
I won't burden you, in your fragile time
So without you here, alone I cry.
An echo of your words,
presents a haunting Hallow,
I continue to reach to you
You just can't seem to see it thru
Everyday making the same mistake
only laughter attempts you make.
DEPRIVED AND DESPERATE,
these feelings inside me condenced
no longer seperate.
I Pathetically BEGG....
Past my shell, notice my inner womanly beauty
Flaunt it with manly pride
STOP letting it hide.
Hold me as highest above
as your Lady of Love
Instill my importance to you
SOO DEEP.....
that I feel your love in my deepest of sleep.
Give me sincerity,
found in a movie-like-love
as pure as the white of a dove.
Understand.......
In my life you are the number that stands as one.
I would stand by you, till this life is done
However....
before our journey sets its sail
you may see me as strong
but right now I am frail.
If my demands are too great,
let this bond release, without regret
with the absence of evils hate.
Author notes
This poem is not going to rhym all the way through. I already noticed it, however there was no better way to write it, with the message it needs to convey. Thank you 
Opinion of structure in poem, suggestions.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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The capital letters really add to it. Nice job,
However....
before our journey sets its sail
you may see me as strong
but right now I am frail.
loved those lines.
Good poem!
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this is a tender and powerful freewrite!
I think you will come back to this one over the span of years...
and read it with ....understanding and wise eyes...
personally poetess...
I don't understand why...it is...love can be so cruel...
and yet...I have uplifted tender thankyou prayers
for ~NOT~ having them answered
when I thought it was the best for me....
sometimes we are unable to see through the veils of love
yearning for love so deep...it is the pain...we feel as women
when we know...he/she is not the one....and our hearts
mourns for the road to love seems so very long...long....long...
your freewrite touches our hearts
with kind understanding!
you have a beautiful soul and ink
and ....when your true love and
you finally find each other...
you're gonna write heaven high
joyful love!
ears/Seattle
grateful that you did not choose the other!
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Hi Des
This is sure emotional.
I haven't felt emotions like that about anyone in a great while, nor has anyone felt like that about me, that I know of.
I liked the rhyming last couple of verses. They said a lot in few words.
Sorry I couldn't comment better!
John
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TYVM
Your comments was great, thank you very much for reading this piece. It is actually the longest poem i have ever even wrote.
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How deeply troubling...i do hate seeing not only my own... but others romances crumble...a sick feeling...of heart i feel for this write...nicely expressed.
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I like this poem of that special time when you want to start a relationship but are unsure of the other's true feelings. very well written, I especially like the lines:
the dephts of passion in my eyes,
It's not the chimed song in my laugh,
Or a pain inside you, when you hear my cries
now the boring bits, I don't usually comment on spelling, but it really got in the way of enjoying this poem, so here it is (in spirit of helping not dissing) - accocasionally (occasionally),hieghts (heights), ritches (riches), porportion (proportion), cocern (concern), womans (woman's), hours' (doesn't need the ' as it is a plural not possessive noun), thrue (thru or through), senserity (like this made-up word, however you might have meant sincerity), set's (sets)
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Thank you
Actually I am appreciative of your corrections. I kinda noted that I have had writers block for two years, so I am out of the grammer loup. The poem can only benefit from such corrections. Thank you also for reading and enjoyings its message.
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