My eyes looked down upon the floor.
Lost in thought.
They moved around the room
As I caught quick glimpses of his face--
trying not to stare.
He spoke amongst his friends
They would joke and laugh
I couldn’t help but smile when I’d see his dimples form
and his eyes light up
(Oh those eyes!)
He stood close to me
But he felt so far
There was an invisible distance between us
We were separated by nerves
We were separated by friends
We were separated by her.
She wasn’t in the room
but her presence always lingered.
I had a taste of him once.
A sweet, delectable, tangy and palatable taste.
She acted as if she hadn’t known
when she came in with sharp talons and swooped him up
as an eagle swoops a mouse.
He was taken adrift by her
never to be seen back on land where I stood looking up
hoping for her to let go
so I could catch him in my hands.
So there I sat
in a room full of our friends
Pretending not to stare
But catching every glance I possibly could.
------------------------------
That was years ago.
She is no longer in the picture
But She represents more than that girl
She represents every temptation he has
Every temptation he has given into.
She represents even just those drunken nights.
She represents every look he gives a girl
She represents every put down he has ever said to me.
I sit in a room today
and my eyes look down upon the floor.
They wander around the room, only to set on him.
I stare
Hard.
But he doesn’t even notice.
He laughs and jokes with our friends.
I still smile when I see his dimples.
He stands close to me
But he feels so far
We are separated by an invisible distance
But this time I can’t figure out what it is.
He now is mine;
but I feel his heart will never be attainable.
Author notes
Contest: Prose/Free Verse Options Contest!!
Option: iii.
AP name: D A M S E L x
"no day but today"
A contest entry
- Prose/Free Verse Options Contest!! by ChunkyC.
550 points, ended September 15, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
CRITIQUE ME PLEASE
Comments
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I can relate to the end of this poem very well. I'm not quite sure what was going on in the beginning. I was lost until the last few stanzas. But the last few stanzas were good. I have been there before. I know that feeling of being so close to someone yet so far away. It's unnerving. Great job here.
Thanks for entering.
Good luck in the contest.
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Maybe I should clarify
The first part of the poem speaks about when I first met him; how we had a "thing" but I was still scared at and nervous to talk to him...hence we were separated by an invisible distance (nerves, friends and "her"...another girl he was talking to at the time.)
The second half is about a year later when him and I were together exclusively but how "She" still lingered in the picture but this time she was not just "that girl"; "She" was anything that put a strain on our relationship. So, once again, we are separated by an invisible distance even though we, now, are exclusively together. "He now is mine; but I feel his heart will never be attainable."
Hopefully this explains a little.
Thank you for your kind comment,
--Clarissa-Marie
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