I didn't ever want to go back, but I looked down to find that you'd attached me to you with a sailor's knot. I don't understand because your heart belongs to the one who is "worthy to be loved." And I've been asking myself the same question over and over again:
What makes me so undeserving?
...or maybe I do need this. Are you punishing me, dearest indigo? Is this sweet saccharine revenge? Is this the fate of an inexpressible heart? If it is, then surely I should've opened my throat to utter out my love.
But I didn't. And I've already reprimanded myself for that. So don't worry, I'm certainly no stranger to agony, but I don't need your gazes and smiles to add to this hell that you refer to as conversation.
You have no idea, but you've placed me into a deathtrap. Whilst being bound to you, I've been handcuffed to someone else. And I can't choose which one to unlock. I am being drawn and quartered just because you had stitched thread over my lips so I couldn't explain how brightly your eyes shine. Tell me...do I deserve this?
Perhaps you recognize my condition. I think you've been in these chains before. You wanted to give you heart to many people at once, too. Yes, it's true. I do know what I'm talking about--
because I was the option that you didn't choose.
Author notes
"dearest indigo" is a reference to another poem of mine, also titled "dearest indigo." Both of these poems are about the same person.
The one "worthy to be loved" is a reference to the name Amanda--the girl he loves. Her name actually means that very same phrase.
Tell me no more lies.
Comments
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I adore how I (and i'm sure many others) can relate to this piece. Imagery is amazing and the ending is perfect. Its seems like every piece you write is a door that leads to another piece of you. It creates mystery and suspense for what you'll write next. I'm jealous that I didn't think of some of the things you wrote
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Yeah...no one can ever truly know me until they read (and understand!) my poetry because it is the only place where I will reveal things. I'm happy that you picked up on that so quickly..
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I am blown away by the ending of this poem, utterly brilliant. Your choice of words and descriptive emotions just makes me brood endlessly even after reading this.
-So don't worry, I'm certainly no stranger to agony, but I don't need your gazes and smiles to add to this hell that you refer to as conversation.-
These two lines captured my attention and refuses to let go. How do you do that?
-I am being drawn and quartered just because you had stitched thread over my lips so I couldn't explain how brightly your eyes shine.-
I had to read this a few times, mainly because I couldn't understand it at first. After that, I'm reading in over and over again just because I can't get enough of it.
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