rays turn rivers to golden smokeless flame,
a sight to breathe in
deeply; stirring the ripples as wedding rings,
you pledge yourself to the dawn.
this river bank cathedral is quite enough
to keep you faithful,
with mid-morning mist, every breath of fogging air
another "I do";
you weave her gown with such vows,
spreading white and virginal
across the water.
so not to compromise the beauty
of your break-of-day bride,
you leave before the afternoon could chance
upon your union.
hands in pockets, walking home
through air made busy by cars and careers
and those who know nothing
of dayspring poetry
the sonnet playing out on your lips
is given to the breeze;
the last lingering kiss of dawn
returned in kind.
Author notes
Prompt Three: Air
"The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres and temples lie
Open unto the fields and to the sky
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air"-William Wordsworth
A contest entry
- Elemental Rounds Round 2 "Four Elements by Four Wills equals Sixteen poets!" by kerrypn.
825 points, ended September 9, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Did it work for you?
Comments
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This is beautiful. The contrast between the descriptive and narrative works brilliantly, and interweaves to make a really tenderly thought out poem. The first line was outstanding, and introduced the content of the poem so well. The end was really cleverly worded, and takes on a rhythm of its own, leaving the poem almost open. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you for entering and best of luck
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So beautiful. This poem is so beautiful. Beautiful imagery and tone...it was wonderfully crafted.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~


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Beautifully descriptive, you imbued nature and the dawning of a new day with the romance of a wedding. I thoroughly enjoyed the imagery you employed . Very creative.




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The first stanza of this lovely poem was imaginative and gave the time worn thoughts of dawn an entirely new spin. I enjoyed this entire work, but it would be hard to duplicate the loveliness of that first stanza. Good luck in your contest. Peace, Liz


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This (to me) has a soft dreamlike quality. Like the daydreams of a young woman waiting for love. Well done!

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Hello. What I think I liked best in this was your use of nature and how you compared it to a wedding. Great imagery in this one. I just wanted to take a deep sigh when I finished reading this. Great job in writing. Thanks for sharing this with us.
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Classical in its tone...
I felt very compelled to take such a moment for
myself immediately! I very much enjoyed the metaphoric
words to steep the vision in most romantic shades.
A real treasure to read. Blue


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contemplative, serene... beautiful penning, poet... amazing what one finds in a new morning....




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Only a poet ...
Ahhhh this is quite lovely in appreciation of the air - an element that is not only sustenance but beauty in breath. Thank you so much for sharing with The Blue Lamp Post. Breathtaking.
~Pamela


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I absolutely love this! The implications and focused way you draw your images, brings emotion straight into the fore.



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i love this


very well written and awesome form too.. whatever it is 

my favorite lines by far:
'the alchemy of the rising sun:
rays turn rivers to golden smokeless flame,
a sight to breathe in
deeply; stirring the ripples as wedding rings,
you pledge yourself to the dawn.'
fantastic way to start a poem 
xx
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this is quite releasing, but it holds me as i read it.
i try to understand it further than what it tells me, but it just holds me, and leaves me to just appreciate its beauty.
very nice



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This is really lovely! You paint with a pallet of beauty upon a pristine canvas. Major Props to you my friend.
















