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a splendour few could speak of

the alchemy of the rising sun:
rays turn rivers to golden smokeless flame,
a sight to breathe in
deeply; stirring the ripples as wedding rings,
you pledge yourself to the dawn.

this river bank cathedral is quite enough
to keep you faithful,
with mid-morning mist, every breath of fogging air
another "I do";
you weave her gown with such vows,
spreading white and virginal
across the water.


so not to compromise the beauty
of your break-of-day bride,
you leave before the afternoon could chance
upon your union.
hands in pockets, walking home
through air made busy by cars and careers
and those who know nothing
of dayspring poetry

the sonnet playing out on your lips
is given to the breeze;

the last lingering kiss of dawn
returned in kind.

Author notes

Prompt Three: Air
"The beauty of the morning; silent, bare,
Ships, towers, domes, theatres and temples lie
Open unto the fields and to the sky
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air"-William Wordsworth

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • kerrypn
    September 9

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    This is beautiful. The contrast between the descriptive and narrative works brilliantly, and interweaves to make a really tenderly thought out poem. The first line was outstanding, and introduced the content of the poem so well. The end was really cleverly worded, and takes on a rhythm of its own, leaving the poem almost open. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you for entering and best of luck


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    So beautiful. This poem is so beautiful. Beautiful imagery and tone...it was wonderfully crafted.

    Síochán leat
    ~Mairéad~


  • toomysterious
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully descriptive, you imbued nature and the dawning of a new day with the romance of a wedding. I thoroughly enjoyed the imagery you employed . Very creative.


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    The first stanza of this lovely poem was imaginative and gave the time worn thoughts of dawn an entirely new spin. I enjoyed this entire work, but it would be hard to duplicate the loveliness of that first stanza. Good luck in your contest. Peace, Liz


  • arafura gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    This (to me) has a soft dreamlike quality. Like the daydreams of a young woman waiting for love. Well done!


  • trekkergirl
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Hello. What I think I liked best in this was your use of nature and how you compared it to a wedding. Great imagery in this one. I just wanted to take a deep sigh when I finished reading this. Great job in writing. Thanks for sharing this with us.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Classical in its tone...
    I felt very compelled to take such a moment for
    myself immediately! I very much enjoyed the metaphoric
    words to steep the vision in most romantic shades.
    A real treasure to read. Blue


  • simone waters
    August 26
    Edit | Reply
    contemplative, serene... beautiful penning, poet... amazing what one finds in a new morning....


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    Only a poet ...


    Ahhhh this is quite lovely in appreciation of the air - an element that is not only sustenance but beauty in breath. Thank you so much for sharing with The Blue Lamp Post. Breathtaking. ~Pamela


  • Hetha gold member
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love this! The implications and focused way you draw your images, brings emotion straight into the fore.


  • Lady Michaella
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    i love this very well written and awesome form too.. whatever it is

    my favorite lines by far:

    'the alchemy of the rising sun:
    rays turn rivers to golden smokeless flame,
    a sight to breathe in
    deeply; stirring the ripples as wedding rings,
    you pledge yourself to the dawn.'

    fantastic way to start a poem

    xx


  • jezz
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    this is quite releasing, but it holds me as i read it.
    i try to understand it further than what it tells me, but it just holds me, and leaves me to just appreciate its beauty.
    very nice


  • redmoonnrizing silver member
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is really lovely! You paint with a pallet of beauty upon a pristine canvas. Major Props to you my friend.

1 - 13 of 13