panic riding sensation
paranoia reigns beating chest
horrors spring to the mind
unbearable actions
musings of life ahead
or absence
dreams of city life
and city love
perhaps one little fuck
will squander
unable to comprehend
the damage
the minutes tick away
mounting into silent hours
hours without hope
without contact
sup greedily from the goblet
masking the beating heart
the quivering hand
the worst weakness
so put your head down
shut it off
and pray til morning
for reassurance
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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It's not maudlin or melodramatic and all to often dysfunction shared is. I suffered from a High Anxiety Disorder for 40 years. You almost went overboard in the first verse, but you didn't. the poem paces nicely, back and forth, the quick short three or four step spin and turn back. But in the end the best cure is to sleep. Not to dream but to escape. The best part of this is after the first verse you stopped telling us and just showed us how it felt. Very good. Least I think so, if you didn't notice.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Great Write!
Some Brilliant Imagery
Thanks for Sharing!
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i think you took a minimalist approach to this and I like it, some nice images you've presented, the only line that i felt was a bit awkward was "sup greedily from the goblet" the word 'sup' just didn't sit right with me.....nice write poet
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I like the pace of the write it fits completely with the subject. It's fast to read and choppy, but I think here that's good.
Good use of diction too, your choice of words add to the emphasis and effect in my opinion.
Good job.
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had some really great stanzas, I agree with the last comment, that stanza is my favorite also.
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love it....now that describes the smoggy headaches I've been having....
for three damn days....you wake up in the morning...to head crushing
pressure....and a long long to do list....
loved it!
I thought you described "anxiety" perfectly~
way to write
ears/Seattle
fav. verse
so put your head down
shut it off
and pray til morning
for reassurance.
it is a little choppy..
but ....actually...
if you've ever really
experienced ...anxiety..
than you understand
THAT..iS...Exactly..How..it ...Reigns.
YOU..are ...so darn...clever!
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This poem is as smooth as breathing. It's choppy but it flows. It's one thought and then another. It's perfection, Jon. I must have read this at least ten times before I had the desire to not do so again. haha. And I probably will after I finish this comment. But I don't think I've ever related so completely, so absolutely, to anything you've written this far. Perhaps it's because we went through similar situations? I love this. If there were a way I could convey absolute adoration through a comment I would. I hope I'm doing my emotions justice. I love your wording. How you compacted anxiety, hope, desperation, hopelessness, weakness, and self rendering. I fell in love with this, Jon. Thank you for pointing it out to me.
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"sup" greedily? is that a type-o or some lingo im not familiar with?
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I like the title a lot, it's the reason I clicked on the poem, and you did it justice with this write, capturing the emotions well. Here. Nice write!!
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"so put your head down
shut it off
and pray til morning
for reassurance" probably what i need now... great poem!
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The title is pure poetic justice....each verse gave me the feeling
of being in a hurry or anxious about life and all you found
in a days work, pleasure, meal or a rstless night......excellent!
....novy
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You do a great job of conveying emotion! Good Write! Cheers.
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