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Blood, Tears and death

His eyes torn out his sockets,
Blood all over his broken up body.
Everybody just walks by,
Seeing nothing,
Then SHE turned to see him,
But only screamed.
His lips black and blue,
Blood pumping up his throat,
And out his mouth.
Painful memories haunt what's left of his life,
Shadows trying to drag him into the terrorizing dark,
But That's when she wanted him to flee,
She tries to help but he can't see,
And tries to push her away.
Blood covering the walls,
As he tares her apart.
No energy left,
He lets Death take him away for the rest of forever,
Now She must wait for death to take her too....

A contest entry

So what do you think?

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • crosmyhearthope2die
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    haha kinda scary! but i like it!


  • darkyinsoul
    October 16

    Edit | Reply

    well done

    young poet of dark writes
    excellent work indeed
    like these lines..

    He lets Death take him away for the rest of forever,
    Now She must wait for death to take her too....

    keep up the good work
    thanks for the share
    Darky


  • Thewordflow
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    Cheery poem :L I like it though a really well written piece

    Good luck and thankyou for entering


  • Let.Love.In
    October 5

    Edit | Reply
    i like this very much

    and the way you ended it was brilliant!

    its like you made room for the reader to figure out that the same is to happen to her.

    it was great and dark and great and so detailed and vivid

    ~Torii


  • foreveryourslove
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    wow this poem was nice i loved the dark love behind it thank you for entering my contest and i wish you the bestestt of luck in it too....

  • Bob Fox
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    My

    Young poet a truly dark write. Perhaps Poe like and I a sure he would be very proud. write on young poet.


  • Kastor
    September 9

    Edit | Reply
    His eyes torn from the sockets
    Blood upon his broken body
    Everybody walking by
    Seeing nothing worth caring for
    She turned then saw his writhing
    And screamed in terror, empathy


    Or whatever. I get it, you're showing a broken character and somone shocked and sympathetic to it. Then the descent into death to follow him. It's one of those 'dark' love stories. I think you could make this work well if you put some more work into it


  • Angel Felice Seals
    September 8

    Edit | Reply

    I thought

    you did an outstanding job with this it has passion and is full of emotions it was an honor to be able to read. you have talent and i love that it was so vivid you did an amazing job with this.
    sincerly, angel


  • Minam
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    wow VIVID. i liked this poem. short with layers of feelings that just dip into each one...awesome write


  • doyouloveit
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    i feel like there could have been more but overall i like what you have written and with all the blood you can really picture this poem in your head and that i like my dear well done poet!!

1 - 10 of 10