Goodbye

She stood resolutely under the old oak tree, eyes misting slightly as memories assaulted her. She and Rand had sat under this tree only six years ago; he’d braided the silver pieces into her hair and convinced her that there were better things in life—like love. Sometimes she wished he’d just left her there in the whore house where he found her. If she hadn’t known love, she wouldn’t be able to miss it.

The tears broke free then, two fat drops that streaked down her cheeks. Making a disgusted noise, Taegan swiped the moisture from her face and settled her hand on the chain around her neck. She pulled the necklace from her tunic, regarding the chain mail with real sorrow in her eyes. This was all she had left of him, one small piece of his armor.

Ripping the chain from her neck, she held it out before her, mouth puckering tightly as she tried to hold back more tears. The effort was in vain, though. She closed her eyes, holding the memento to her chest as she screamed her sorrow for the entire countryside to hear. Let them hear it. She wanted the world to know just how much pain she was in.

Still sobbing, she tilted her head back and forced herself under control. She’d come here with a purpose and she would not be dissuaded from it. Her life would dissipate in a cloud of opium smoke if she didn’t make peace with Rand’s death. That meant saying goodbye to him…and putting to rest her own demons.

Dropping to her knees, she offered obeisance to the gods. “I invoke thee, [god]! Give me the strength—” she had to stop as a shivery sigh escaped her, the last of her tears drying. “Give me the strength to overcome.” Touching her forehead with her forefinger, she then raised her hand skyward to complete proskynesis. She gained her feet and approached the tree in trepidation.

Ever since Rand’s murder, she had avoided this place, the beginning of it all. That she was even standing there was a miracle in itself. Lip trembling, she took another step and caressed the wooden monument with a feather light touch. “Goodbye, Rand,” she whispered, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. She could just imagine him placing a kiss on the dimple that was forming. This was right, and she had to do it. “Goodbye,” she whispered again, laying the chain in the fork of the tree.

She wiped her hand down her thigh, ridding herself of even the memory of the necklace’s touch. Turning quickly, she walked away from everything that held her in the past. Her future was awaiting her just beyond the horizon, and she would meet it without the haze of drugs clouding her vision, or the awful memory of Rand’s death holding her back. Today was the beginning of the rest of her life.