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Looking for attention

Hey I know you, your nothing but a plastic whore.
Your always showing off, your flawless body just looking to score.
Yeah I heard you talking shit about me, time and time before.
But your the type of girl I usually just ignore.

Your always Looking for attention, and tonight you just might get it.
You have no comprehension you just wanna make a scene admit it.
You stupid snobby bitch, you better quit talking your shit.
Cause once I start I wont stop, your about to get fucking hit.

You love to spread rumors,

You live for the drama and to see others in pain,
You keep laughing you think its funny,

You wouldn't last a day in my place.
All you are is false beauty and no brains,

There's no point for me to explain.
It wouldn't sink in to your thick fucking skull,

Your just hollow minded, with an oversized ego.

 

Your always Looking for attention, and tonight you just might get it.
You have no comprehension you just wanna make a scene admit it.
You stupid snobby bitch, you better quit talking your shit.
Cause once I start I wont stop, your about to get fucking hit.

Now my tempers is on a short fuse,
And I really don't think you can handle the abuse.
So you might just want to walk away, before it's too late.
Before I really show you, the meaning of the word Hate.

Author notes

A m y 1 1 4

Title # 927. Okay so I haven't been writing much lately I hope you think this is alright

A contest entry

True like all my lyrics good or bad?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • ears2hearyou gold member
    2 days ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    ah...you have Got a touch of Celtic Spirit in you.
    Still learning to harness it .....aren't ya!

    Actually..I loved it! The Cussing added texture and depth.
    A friend told me once;
    If you don't learn to stand up for yourself..
    you'll end up...just another whiny bitch in this world.

    WE'll never have to worry about that happening to you
    that's for damn sure.

    ears/Kathleen/Seattle
    p.s. I can't wait to talk to you when you are 50...oh, how we will
    wickedly laugh and get silly drunk!
    I do not expect you to understand that now.
    (i'm an old spirit who once cast her fires just like you)










  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    There's no point for me to explain.
    It wouldn't sink in to your thick fucking skull,

    Your just hollow minded, with an oversized ego.


    thats my favorite part. thank you for entering and good luck in the contest. hope to see you in the next round


  • Wyakin
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Such a strong poem. The anger just seeps in through each word. The cussing worked for this piece and the anger was loud and clear. Thank you so much for this wonderful entry!!


  • Antebellum
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh I like. :]

    "Now my tempers is on a short fuse,
    And I really don't think you can handle the abuse.
    So you might just want to walk away, before it's too late.
    Before I really show you, the meaning of the word Hate."

    gaawd this is amazing.
    excellent take on the title.
    thanks so much for entering.


  • foreveryourslove
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    i am realllyyyyy sorry i am giong to have to dq you a little to much swarring in this for me thank you for entering my contest though i hope you submit agian thanks..


  • spideracer gold member
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    Watch your spelling of you're, you spell it too many times like 'your', which of cause is wrong. Apart from that, your lyrics here are awesome, amazing piece of work that could quite easily be put to music.


  • Miss Macabre silver member
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    I like this! It's a song I would find myself singing along to if I heard it on the radio. Especially:

    [Your always Looking for attention, and tonight you just might get it.
    You have no comprehension you just wanna make a scene admit it.
    You stupid snobby bitch, you better quit talking your shit.
    Cause once I start I wont stop, your about to get fucking hit.]

    That's great. That sounds like something I could hear Dope singing. Great write.

1 - 7 of 7