Once
Blood fogged from a piercing in the heart
Has now cleared away at dawns new start
Introduced with passion and lust
A flowers glowing; with the pinkest of blush
Pains hurricane has calmed; as tears break a clear
Sunsets promise of hope is finally here
A view into souls, yours; mine
Fates made its approval, the clocks passed it's lonely time
A deserving happiness, presence as lingers
Great depths of relief, this reward derived from BELIEF!
Author notes
This poem is about the many hurts in life, each romantic relationship we are in tends to leave us with wisdom, derived from pain. It also reflects that when you stop looking for love with time to yourself, although still believing it exists, it will find you. I have had writers block for almost two yrs, so I hope you enjoy the write. Thank you
I Need A Title as well as Grammer suggestions.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Introduced with passion and lust
A flowers glowing; with the pinkest of blush
Oooh, loved those lines! Great poem and the rhyme worked really well! -
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Thank you
It was a different kind of poem for me so I am glad it is working out well. It happens when you are in-love I suppose lol.
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I like this poem, the emotions and the picture you have portrayed with words alone conveys the feelings of life's journey when in love. Great write and keep writing!
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I definitely agree with your author's notes. This is a beautifully written poem and I love the picture that you chose to go with it.
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HI
You've had your share of writer's block, enough for a life time.
Not a bad "first time out" after two years. Some good suggestions below.
Keep on going to get all the kinks out.
John
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Really VERY promising ...
But, I had a slight problem with unnecessary punctuation ... I think with this kind of hybrid verse form where sometimes it rhymes and sometimes it veers into almost free-verse, the poem would benefit much more from being one thing or the other. There are some really good ideas and interesting imagery but the disjointed rhythm spoils the natural meter/rhyme. Maybe try employing a 4-line rhyming stanza scheme or completely lose the rhyme form to free-verse.
It's nearly there though !!
Title suggestion - ' Once'
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i have had writers block for a long while as well my work just seems to nt be as good... i really enjoyed this piece tho sweet write
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Thank you
Its horrible to have writers block. Hopefully you are able to break through. Thank you for reading my piece. I appreciate it.
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Wow... that's a long writers block...I'll probably never complain about one of mine ever again.
Was the poem formatted that way for a specific reason? If not..then maybe you could put your spaces in places where you want us to take a breath...some parts sound a little run off ish(but not much)
Other than that, it's an amazing poem!
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