Now Milton seems to me a sad old bloke
Though famous as a poet in his day.
His paradise was not a place to play
I wonder if he ever told a joke
Or chewed the fat with common working folk.
His Christian had a deal of things to say
Emotions, raw were often on display
As images of hell his words invoke.
If Milton was alive now and could see
How far removed from Paradise we are
How easily our birthrights we have sold
Forgotten now the ‘Truth that sets us free’
Lost paradise a dim and distant star
And sheep now far beyond the Masters fold.
In a list
Does it fit the form? are scansion and stress okay?
Comments
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Dear Pattiboo,
If you have decided to accept my invitation to include "Poetic Wine" in the Wyleian Sonnet corpus, why not also include this one as number CCLX.
Congratulations on a first attempt at a Miltonian style sonnet. 9.5 out of 10.0 !
L & H. XXX Hugh. -
Dear Pattiboo,
John Milton, as a poet, was rather bold,
departing from the usual English form
of sonnet, then regarded as the norm.
He broke from William Shakespeare's sonnet mould,
reverting to Petrarchan forms of old
and, with his wayward viewpoints waxing warm,
his verse, political, caused quite a storm
resulting in rejection from the fold.
With marital relations rather strained
and failing eyesight's pitiless impost,
one should not marvel at his lack of fun
until new love his paradise regained
where he had thought all paradise was lost,
deprived of sight and light of stars or sun.
Thankyou for inspiring this further sonnet to my favourite English poet.
It is actually my third, the first being:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2275837
Notwithstanding his Puritan disposition, his blindness and the deaths of his first and second wives and youngest child, his writing is not without humanity or humour.
Applause for your first-class sonnet, with love and hugs, XXX Hugh.
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Nice write here. As someone who has only attempted Shakespearean Sonnets, it is always nice to see another form, especially when done so well!!
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Great effort.
Looking at various "authorities", I see that the Miltonic is basically the Petrarchan. Which makes no odds at all. Yours is a very successful sonnet. I hope it's now safely in your collected works.
Scansion and stress are right on. "As images of hell his words invoke" is not natural word order. This can be found even in a poet like Keats. It contrasts a bit with the (very much to the point) "I wonder if he ever told a joke", witty, to the point and scanning perfectly.
One small nit. Swap "and" with "he" (L9 "He now could see"). Makes better sense.
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