smoking you out

I returned to the scene of the crime today
And I had convinced myself that I had pushed the memory
Far enough away
But I can see you leaning in for the first of our forbidden kisses
I was so young and foolish,
Lost in the lie of our diseased tryst
And now the only poison to pass these lips
Is that of a cancer stick
I am comforted by the idea that it'll stop my heart slower than you did
My eyes stare blankly through the smoke
And I am reminded of the haze I entered every time you spoke
I don't feel anything anymore
Now that I've accepted you'll never walk through my door
I floated away from you on a river of petty tears
Induced by inevitable teenage heartbreak
Now it's been a few years and I say that I've forgotten you
If only for his sake
But I can't help but wonder,
If you touched me again,
Would I be so willing to compromise?
This still hurts!
I didn't think that after all this time, you could still cause me to burn
Like coals deep down in my mind
I can't forget what happened that day
Or the way you caused my innocence to fray
I can still see you, planted in your arrogance
And smirking at my awkward stance
So I'll just smoke you out
Until the ghost of nostalgia runs away
And leaves me healing on a rainy day.