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Felt, But Not Seen.

As you stand outside
I whisper in your ear
'Stay outside with me
There's nothing to fear'

I'm felt but not seen
Letting you know I care
You can never see me
But you know I'm always there.

I hug your body gently
Blow your hair from your face
Push you in the direction
To your destined place

Time will change everything
But I'll still be there
Felt but not seen
Telling you I still care.

Author notes

I decided on personifying wind, and it didn't turn out too bad in my opinion.
Contest 1.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • MJ Forgives
    1 hour ago
    ?
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    Really great poem. I enjoyed reading it. Unfortunatly, I have to DQ you though. I only wanted gold or silver trophy poems. You did a good job on this poem. Love and Peace!
    -Jess


  • Kathraina silver member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, brilliant personification of wind! You've done a marvelous job with this piece. I love the imagery and rhyme scheme here.

    bravo and thank you for entering



    ♥ kate


  • Amy Kay
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    I must say I am partial to wind of all the elements. I really enjoyed your work, you personified it well. So many are intimidated by strong winds, but that would be my favorite time to experience them. Thank you for sharing and entering my contest!


  • Shadow Anonymised gold member
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    so romantic... ghost in love with the living...

    its that classic love story that will see the test of time.

    well done ^_^ i like it ^^ its sweetly sugary. but with flavor, not just a packet of sugar all at once ^_^ good job


  • Ziola
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    well on first reading it.. i did not get wind.. perhaps my mind thinks a bit deeper. and i loved what i got out of it. What i perceived was something i tend to do and feel with my relationship with men. Im Felt but never really seen. I loved loved this.


  • Kastor
    October 9

    Edit | Reply
    When your author notes told me this was wind I got it. Before that I was wondering if this was hinting at something religious, or maybe a stalker. It's good, but without the note it could go either way.

  • Frances
    September 17

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write Poet.......

    Very nice, great flow here. Flowing like a steam, could be longer though.I thought it was well thought out.


  • lost-angel
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    i really love this.. simple, but touching and beautiful idea, it's not obviously what i was wanting, but the feelings i get are right, thank you good luck

  • hend shaheen
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    its really great how you personificated wind your words made me feel that wind is really playing with my hair now....peaceful...and a different topic...


  • Hija of the King
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on your gold trophy, and thank you for entering my contest. I enjoy reading your poem. Good luck in my contest.


  • toomysterious
    August 24
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely bit of personification. Congratulations on your trophy also and thanks for reading my poems.


  • DaWildChild
    August 22

    Edit | Reply
    impressive piece of write, very well written and filled with emotion, good tittle and good use of metaphore i really did enjoy this piece, there is not a single thing you can change to make this piece any better, thanks for sharing a very enjoying piece of poetry. keep up the good work


  • Eric Marsh
    August 22

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    wind as a friend..i like snuggling up in the wind brrr another nice write,,,,i will catch you a handful of wind and send it to you..keep writing and keep well


  • Miss Macabre silver member
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good personification of wind, I love personifications! I have some suggestions.

    [You know you can't see me
    But you know I'm always there.]

    How about,

    You can never see me,
    but you know I'm always there.

    It sounds a little bit less repetitive. This poem could use some polishing, but it's a good write. Thanks for entering and good luck.

1 - 15 of 15