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Celestial Tango

Whispers-
  scintillated
over bare flesh
 
on way
to the rush of night.

Feeling
like edges of a star.

Passion's lyric
thrust on champagne crescents
of Midnight's arched smile.

Perpetually
  Enrapture

Author notes

Prompt: Song to the Moon
30 lines or less

A contest entry

I would love a critical comment on how I can make these lyrics better.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Iliad Keys
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Haha, this one made me stop and think, now what DO the edges of a star feel like? I like this piece a lot, although it seems to end abruptly. Very well done.


  • poet2angels gold member
    August 20
    Edit | Reply
    I love this!
    I knew when I saw the title, it wiould be beautiful and it is...
    I love reading you

    Lynda


  • crivanea
    August 20
    Edit | Reply
    perfect