Betrayed and abandoned, I lay here alone
Filled with an anguish that I never have known
I’d loved you and cared for you day after day
Then suddenly learned that you’re going away
You’d looked at the grass and you’d thought it was brown
And sought better fields with another you’d found
Yet happiness escaped you because you were wrong
But instead of returning, you strung me along
Thinking you’d win in the end, you denied
The truth that you knew in your heart deep inside
Then one day you realized you could deny it no more,
You knew I possessed that which you searched for
Yet it didn’t end there for you felt you were trapped
And just calling things off with him wouldn’t be apt
So I lay here in bed alone and with pain
Waiting for when I can hold you again…
Author notes
Haven't written anything in a long, long time... How messed up is it that in over three years, I have experienced joy like never before, but it takes something like this to make the words flow....
A contest entry
- Rhyme,Lyrics, Prose, Dirty Pretty. by Antebellum.
800 points, ended September 24, 290 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewites aloud! Click to find out more by Maggie Kay.
550 points, ended October 14, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Flawless rhyme.
love how its with two line stanzas not four or five.
thank you for taking the time to enter.
good luck -
Sayyy, I know you....
You were always good at rhyming without sounding forced. If you're ever in town, you ought to give me a call. I'm sure we've much to discuss.
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Its strange how poetry can lay dormant and something triggers and off you go..
Nice flow and rhyme, the story unfolding is so sad, yet many of us have been in your shoes.
Not that it is any comfort knowing that, but at times it helps.
Lonely times, sad times often lead to happiness, when we least expect it
However we learn from what is now, and protect ourselves if we can from hurting again.
Best wishes Julie
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I know exactly how you feel, and you captured it perfectly.
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wow...pretty good..
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hmm actually rhymes very well. very emotional and heartfelt write here.
"You’d looked at the grass and you’d thought it was brown
And sought better fields with another you’d found
that was my favourite couplet. great job -
i usually don't like rhyme, but you did it well. it wasn't forced and the flow was very smooth.
i like your rhyme scheme and how it was in couplets instead of four line stanzas at a time. -
Wow you described the pain perfectly. Have you ever gone through this? Because it seems you have. There's way too much heart and thought in this for you not to have. I'm sorry it happened to you if you did. Keep up the good work. TWO thumbs up.
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Oh, my God. I have definitely felt this way before, when my ex-boyfriend Allen broke up with me so he could date one of my friends! Ah, well, I didn't need a boyfriend anyway...
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nice
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this is a sad situation which i can relate to, i enjoyed the read, take care
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This is a very good piece. I like how you wrote it. Keep up your great work!!! I can relate to this.
TwiztidMaggot -
wonderful rhythm....every experience like this will all us pull inside of you...allowing you to draw deeper and come up with something as well-written as this! great job!
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great
I love this poem because it is part of everyday life.well done -
More often than not, we find the pen soars when emotions plummet. The melancholy tone of this poem is stunning. You cause the reader to experience your pain. Joy is not recognized as the bliss it truly is until the abruptness of sorrow invades our spirits. It is indeed a task to let go, especially when we know how haunting memories of happiness can cling. Your poem is heartfelt and sad dear poet but healing is on the horizon, and will shine like the morning sun in due time. I know this as truth; people come and go in our lives in seasons, like angels who flit about sprinkling glad dust. Hold on to the good times, and try at best to evoke inner smiles now and again. A splendid poem. Glad I clicked here even with the tones of sadness written to swell the heart to tears.
Much Love & Many Blessings ♥
Renee
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like it
i can relate to this
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