I talked with Tommy the other night
as he slurred his words and tried to sound ‘good’.
Twenty years of medication and they still can’t get it right.
We sailed out into the Great South Bay, Tommy and me.
All day and all night we kept going. Time disappeared that day.
We just kept heading East in our little Cape Cod sloop … so young and free.
My parents called the Coast Guard,
and we were grounded for three weeks.
No wind, water or wood for the rest of the summer.
Now we just talk sometimes,
and we dream about meeting somewhere
before we forget about each other altogether.
But one day we sailed the sun and moon,
and the salt air filled our young hearts with life
while gulls dove into dancing waves that our bow cut in two.
Author notes
Form: Free Verse
Please be honest and open.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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a good piece of poetry penned, ah when we are young we can dive into any adventure and not worry about everyday life, we are i think truly free when we are children, then adulthood pins us down with its madness.
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Really Good!!
This is a wonderful piece, because it tells a beautiful, yet sad story...memories are precious things but the ability to describe them with justice is priceless. Excellent writing here, thanks so much for sharing!
Windsong
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That was absolutely amazing. I love the stories like this. They are so amazing and easy to picture. I can feel the cold water or hear the words that were spoken. It was like magic. I love how you rhymed so perfectly. I could really feel what you felt when you were writing this. Beautiful.
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Really wonderful
You captured the magic here. I just love childhood stories. This was inspring and magical to read.
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very creative and I loved every word of it, how the emotion whistled right through me. your a great writer! I loved this poem and I bet your either famous now or will become famous!! ^w^
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a powerful and poignant poem..written with love and passion..well done..keep well and take care.....
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Beautiful piece, tells a story of beautiful lost times in past and getting in touch with all those feelings by being in those sorroundings again. Love the way you make this a really touching read. Great write!
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I loved the poem. It is like you are talking with me.I understand Tommy more that I dare to admit.
The last few lines I loved best!
Much love,
Judy
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I came back to reread, and this time I am struck with the symbols you've used throughout the poem. Time is foremost, and a reference appears in each stanza. The Great South Bay becomes ignorance, and East is always the direction of spiritual learning. You have the four elements in the final line of stanza 3. The final line of stanza 4 is heartbreaking for me especially, but the symbols all come together in the final stanza, and the reader is given a glimpse of eternity. I love the sun and moon in the same sky, a play with time not often seen except in crucifixion art, I love the spirit as salt air, the image of the sea birds (for me becoming angels) and the ease with which this passage progresses through obstacles.
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Wow, I have never been sailing. Now I see what a great loss that has been.
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The power of the love in your final stanza is amazing. Beautiful.
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