speechless

You stood there, shutting out the world
I closed my eyes, closed my eyes
and saw what you never did.
I felt the beating of my own heart
and wondered if you could hear it too,
I always thought you never could
and maybe I was wrong,
I never knew your mind like I wanted to.
I never knew your soul.
I always said we were so in sync
but we were breaking
we were breaking, dear
and I always felt it.

Early August heat made me long for
all those December nights
and you know I never lied
to you, for what it matters
I still don't know.

We stood apart,
just as I expected
avoiding small talk
and still catching the glances
of everyone who knew
what I didn't want to believe.

I acted like I didn't want
to run to you
to hold you one more time
stayed away because it would be too much
to say hello
even worse than saying goodbye.

A thousand things I left unsaid
they weigh me down tonight
as I lie awake
watching what I should have done
as it doesn't unfold.

The sound of your voice
far from my direction; makes me weak
and then as you walked in
my determination froze inside
as we locked eyes
in spite of my surprise
I couldn't speak.