When greed for domination soils the mind
and that hunger burns away reason's control,
when mind's are lost and the path has become blind,
the world churns in harsh waves of paranoid souls.
A light, any light, is a welcoming find,
that all will follow without seeing hell's hole.
As the voice of the light sways with reasoned plea,
it cloaks the corruption that sets no one free.
This master of persuasion promises accord,
as he meanwhile plots and plans his rise to fame.
Swaying the masses of an enemy horde,
that voice rises in hate, so quick to lay blame.
In frenzied belief they will carry his sword,
and shout out in fervour, his will to proclaim.
Mankind will now become exterminated,
to look back in time, we're still easily baited.
Author notes
For the power of man to make himself what he
pleases means, as we have see, the power of some
men to make other men what they please
--C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/ottavarima.html (11syllables)
In a list
A contest entry
- Inspired by Quotes Form Series #1 by Little Eagle.
450 points, ended August 25, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Tell Me What You Think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for your entry
Whoa, really long lines. I know the form calls for 10 or 11 syllable count, I think though this poem might have benefited from the lesser syllable count. This prompt was a very dark one and you have certainly shown a dark side here. The folly of man to want his own will over that of God and fellow man is a timeless failing.
The form was followed well. Your syllable count was maintained and the rhyme scheme was well developed and consistent with the form. I like the Ottava Rima form, it is an interesting form, where most see Quatrain stanzas this one steps outside the box with the Octive Stanzas.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
I love this form and will study more on it. This is great!
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Excellent
Such a great use of the form. So very creative. And so perfect for the theme. Best of luck in the contest.
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Your second stanza....
is a shadow perhaps, but perhaps more a portent of what is happening in my country these days. There are too many foolish people allowing that to happen.
A good write against the quote poet.
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well hate should be curtailed in a straight jacket,power also, then we would be free to unveil our goodwill..good luck x
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a good poem, ah i see th devil at work within this poem, and he is at work in the world, all the madness that surroudns us now with wars and such, we play right into his hands.
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