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because I don't have the right words to say...

I wish I had words
like flowers in the field.

I would pick them
as little girls would
and give them all to you

if only I have their innocence
instead, all I have is silence...

I have lost my voice
somewhere with the breeze
hushed
with the brush of your lips

but as long as they touch
mine
I don't mind being mime

so dapple a kiss for me
and when you do...

I'll let my sighs scatter

in the wind
hoping that you would
feel them

my touch
is the way I speak now
let me write my words to

your skin
like a lover would do to you
if I was your woman


but somehow, I'm still a girl

and my fingers are not
nimble either

forgive me
I am not fluent

Author notes

for Geo
http://allpoetry.com/Yellowdogpoetry

inspired by his poems
I know some of them
were on your list

you can dq this if it does not qualify

Thank you Night Hope

 

will sleep for now

exhausted

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 28 of 28
  • Bruce silver member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply

    Not Fluent??????

    This is a poem of surpassing beauty, filled with eloquent phrases. You stun us again and again with your voice.

  • Virgoan
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    Poor me, i just read this poem today. I think it is a loss for me not to read this piece.

    Anna, your poem has that resilience that stings the reader for some reason. I wish and am hoping you write more.

    very very well done.


    P.S.

    write more please (i am begging)


    Thanks for sharing.


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      October 1
      Edit | Reply
      Hensley...thank you.
      masaya ako pag binabasa mo mga sinusulat ko

      sana nga makasulat pa 'ko


  • Titus gold member
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    but as long as they touch
    mine
    I don't mind being mime

    shows much about using yor own mind I guess than suggesting that nature take its course in the wonderment of guidance that, with two entwined, there is a mutual response of activity making this a beautiful piece. You have hardly lost your voice. Beautiful work. Titus/Tercil


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 19

    Edit | Reply


    "I have lost my voice
    somewhere with the breeze
    hushed
    with the brush of your lips"


    First of all, thank you for entering, Anna Lee. I must disagree with your assessment that you are not fluent, though, as this beautiful, tender piece of writing proves otherwise...not just to me, but to all who read its poignant, moving message.

    It reminded me, very much, of the song by Cat Stevens "How Can I Tell You?" - which is a good thing, by the way; I adore his music and always have. In fact, my first true love looked so much like him, I wasn't sure if I liked him because of his resemblance to Cat Stevens or Cat Stevens because of his resemblance to him. He was the only musician I ever stood in line for hours for in order to get tickets to see him perform. Unfortunately, at the time, it was to be his final tour. Sighhh.

    It is a very difficult thing, to unveil our soulsongs to another, without being completely terrified of doing so. It takes a lot of courage, a great deal of willpower, to even consider it. We always fear their reactions, even if it is an unwarranted fear, it seems.

    Your use of natural things, specifically the wildflowers, is greatly effective in getting your point across in this piece. The inclusion of the wind is another plus, as it is the wind that carries those seeds of hope, in order to allow the heart to rise toward the light in the first place.

    There is also a natural innocence within the emotions being displayed, which is very subtle and also very seductive when employed properly, as you have done here.

    All in all, this is a very gentle, soft-spoken piece which appeals to the very heart of your readers, stroking their senses with a wisp of a caress, a small fragrance that remains even after they sleep. I see Geo was most pleased and touched, as I was sure he would be. Neither of you are inadequate, in any way. You are both remarkably pure spirits, and it carries over into your writing, as we can all bear witness to. And I do agree with Yem's (very minor) editing suggestion. I figured you'd see it, and it really isn't the judge's place to edit a piece beyond pointing out obvious typos, I think.

    Good luck in the contest, Sweetie.





    “We judge a man's wisdom by his hope.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson



    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      August 19
      Edit | Reply
      I listened to the song and I was right...I know it, although it's from a female voice. I am guilty of doing that too. I had a crush on Pres. Marcos grandson because he look like my highschool crush lol.

      Thank you Night Hope
      I just really want to join your contest and write a poem for Geo


  • Yemassee gold member
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    1005 trophies I have four, one of each

    There is a sweet gentleness to your poem, but with an earnestness that reminds your reader just hoe beautiful love can be, and how it feels. I also like the shy aspect of the poem. On a site where all too many want it all and want it now, this poem reminds us that is is beauty in gentleness and unsureness.

    I would suggest ''had'' instead of ''have'' in line one.

    It's a lovely poem.



  • dx d by me
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    Anna, you HAVE found the right words. This is deeply moving and beautiful. I am humbled by your graciousness and gentle open spirit, and very pleased any portion of my poetry has found a place to thrive in you. I cannot help but feel inadequate. You are the beautiful one, and you are indeed fluent, with your heart. Geo


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      August 19
      Edit | Reply
      why would you be so inadequate...I don't think so

      I heart your poetry...not just any portion of it. you know how I feel about you & your poetry. plus I have your permission to over imagine, when it shows in your poem, you are happy, I am, too and when it's sad, I am sad too

      so can I get my kiss now
      Thank you Geo

      hugs & kisses


  • tara wilson gold member
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    this is so beautiful Anna, i am sure he is absolutely flattered that you wrote these lovely words for him..


  • Ken-Maverick
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    Very different from what i'm used to read from you,
    about time you did a piece too,
    came back with a banh anna.
    All the best


  • PorcelainHope
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant!
    Good to see that you're back and writing again.


  • styrofoam
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    my touch
    is the way I speak now
    let me write my words to
    your skin



    this is beautiful. so happy to see you writing again.


  • ams1020
    August 17

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    hey anna, this is beautiful!!
    -------
    but as long as they touch
    mine
    I don't mind being mime

    so dapple a kiss for me
    and when you do...

    I'll let my sighs scatter

    in the wind
    hoping that you would
    feel them
    ----------

    love that line. reminded me of someone while i read that line. thank you.


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 17
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for entering, Sweetie. Of course it qualifies. I'll be back later with a longer comment. Good luck!


  • bigperm
    August 17

    Edit | Reply

    very beautiful Anna Lee

    It's as though you did find your voice. It is great to see you writing again. This is such a seemless piece. Innocent and sweet. I don't think anyone is fluent in love, but this is very close.


  • Mari Goes gold member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the tenderness you added to this poem Anna.
    You know, sometimes words aren't necessary, a simple gesture can do the work

  • Bruce silver member
    August 17
    Edit | Reply
    Anna, this is beautiful, and I think you are wonderfully fluent. It's funny, perhaps writing poetry in a language that one has mastered, but is not one's mother tongue enables the poet to choos that apt but unexpected phrase that is so effective. Joseph Conrad was a master of prose style, and yet his native language was Polish.


    • ariazephyrzoe gold member
      August 19
      Edit | Reply
      Bruce, thank you for the smiles and for the encouragement to write.

      encouragement
      that's a long word to type

1 - 28 of 28