song of shame

autumn's on the air it means
more than a few things are going
to fall
i always mean myself
i built these walls with sand

well i'll break the hourglass
a lesson on setting time free
as if it were a white dove
hoping it'll return with
a fig leaf
or anything green
before i forget that spring
will come home eventually

i usually do

i was waiting then
i'm still waiting now
laying under trees
watching the leaves falling down
becoming an ocean i just can't swim or cross

yeah i've been alive long enough
to remember what i've lost
in the winter every time
and make the connection
and the rhyme--
no wonderland to me
no let the leaves of fall just fall and bury me

where i stand
laying on the ground with open hands outstretched
towards the scarred trunk of a single maple tree
a buoy to the girl drowning
in the open sea