summer was never sweeter than
the time i was the asphalt under your bare feet,
and my every crevice was another excuse to
comfort you, cradle you.
somewhere was never closer to here than
that one instance -- the block of time when
i hung on your lips as a rain droplet
and let myself be ebbed away
by the creases of your fingertips.
it was my fault,
are we in agreement?
i waited for you to unearth me again,
reroot me, maybe.
but in these seasons i grow by wasting away,
thriving in the moon’s side glances.
every learned fiber of the soil of our history
pointed to the future that is now my present:
defense has become my offense.
Author notes
i hate the ending, i hate the ending, i hate the ending.
grr.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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like it it is full of questions
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that is one strong intro, i adore it. you'll eventually find the ending that you want, it just clicks. poems are like babies, you have to keep caring for them and let them grow and eventually they are ready!
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strong writing
This is good stuff, your imagery and metaphors are powerful, visual and very original. I do agree the last line does not live up to previous billing, but that can certainly be fixed (if you so desire). Stay with it, is what I say.
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love the playful rhythm u displayed. fun and intriguing piece of work! well done.
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you should enter it in my next contest. Awesome poem.
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Very nicely Written
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the ending works, i enjoyed this poem, take care
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