Mother's Choice

The breakdown was prophetic.
Child washing away mother's immediate sorrows,
while mother tried to wash her own tears away,
water gliding over skin
never reaching the pores
never absorbed
but this was their secret
and child tried so very hard
in silence,
performing what had become responsibility,

Mother never questioning
in her anguish, barely acknowledging
having created the role for Child

And the breakdown so typical
and predictable
family outing
with charismatically abusive father,
the abuse followed by
puppy dog pouting and jokes
to coerce family into loving him
again
(with child he failed)

Years later,
Adult Child would ask mother
If she was ok?
Mother scoffing at the implication
that she was ever not alright,
that Child ever helped
hold the pieces together.

Bewildered Child learned
to stop asking questions
to just be accepting that
Mother had made her choice
(to stay)