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milk and honey, for my baby.

 

Rose-petals blossom upon baby's cheeks,
flooding pale flesh with pink-and-purple blooms.
Mother's gentle eyes caress chubby hands
and shower you with tenderness and love.

Family awaiting your grand-entrance,
with hopeful hearts and stars in our eyes,
for you are loved so very much, darling;
our little angel; heaven-sent to us.

I want to kiss your tiny button-nose,
cradle you and listen to the rhythm
of your silent sighs; they're my lullaby;
so dream of milk and honey, little one.

I may not know you, but you are my blood,
and I will love you, sweet baby, always.

 

Author notes

form: lannet
prompt: newborn
picture: anne geddes

this is rather appropriate, as my sister's baby is due in november and i was quite wanting to write them something. i just needed to find the right words.

to my little niece/nephew... auntie laura loves you. ♥

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In a list

A contest entry

Fluff is great, but it really doesn't help; honesty is the best policy.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Hetha gold member
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    Hetha's score:

    Initial Impact/Reaction 8/10
    Originality of content 8/10
    Quality of Form 10/10
    Overall Flow/Syllables 10/10
    Ideas/Metaphors/Imagery 8/10
    Poetic Device/Verbiage 8/10
    Cohesion 10/10
    Understandable/Makes sense 10/10
    Overall poetic effort 4/5
    Emotion/Personality/Edge 4/5
    Last impact/reaction 9/10

    Overall score: 89/100

    ~Hetha


  • Amera gold member
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    Co-judge’s Rubric

    Initial Impact/Reaction 9/10
    Originality of content 8/10
    Quality of Form 10/10
    Overall Flow/Syllables 9/10
    Ideas/Metaphors/Imagery 8/10
    Poetic Device/Verbiage 8/10
    Cohesion 10/10
    Understandable/Makes sense 10/10
    Overall poetic effort 4/5
    Emotion/Personality/Edge 4/5
    Last impact/reaction 9/10

    Rubric Grade score (89%)

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    L5 has 9 syllables


    Initial Impact/Reaction 8/10
    Originality of content 8/10
    Quality of Form 10/10
    Overall Flow/Syllables 9/10
    Ideas/Metaphors/Imagery 8/10
    Poetic Device/Verbiage 8/10
    Cohesion 10/10
    Understandable/Makes sense 10/10
    Overall poetic effort 4/5
    Emotion/Personality/Edge 4/5
    Last impact/reaction 9/10

    Final score: 88/100


    Laura.




  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    August 20
    Edit | Reply
    you have only 3 hours left to write for this challenge.

1 - 5 of 5