by Gregg Rowe
You were the youngest in the family
Grew up to be six-foot-three
Pushing your weight around in school
Thinking you were so bloody cool
I was at the receiving end of your attacks
Personality is what you lacked
Always pushing around your weight
Now today it's way too late
Working three years on the ranch
Getting spanked with a willow branch
Drinking codeine from the bottle
Driving the tractor to full throttle
Stealing money, smoking dope
Aiming to discover hope
As kids we had a very rough life
You grew up to use a knife
Walking the streets of downtown
Oblivious to surrounding sounds
Learning how to brawl and fight
Back alley muggings, not a pretty sight
Going through life, never growing
Mature for you, ever-slowing
Father of two kids, but no wife
Just keep on drifting through your life
What can I say? What can I do?
Not kids anymore, snorting glue
Reality is there, we cannot smother
Bloodlines reveal we are true brothers
We were young, we were free
Now confuzzled, full of obscurities
Author notes
Hard-Core Rhymers
Confuzzled is a word that I came up with while I was in re-hab to explain to my friends what it felt like detoxing for 6 days. It means to me: the point in your brain where CONFUsed and puZZLED connect on the same linear line. I will put a poem up later titled the 'Semantic of a Word' which was written on the development of this word which seems to have seeped in many conversations I have been having lately. Hmm, time to apply to The New Lexicon Webster’s Dictionary of the English Language to see if they will accept it...and yes, I puffed before writing this poem!
Written April 16th, 1985
In a list
A contest entry
- Something close to home by Empty.On.The.Inside.
500 points, ended May 13, 2005, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - From Hearts Of Hope Come Songs Of Love by TommyTRASH.
300 points, ended November 25, 2006, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Hi! This is a fantastic write. Shows well what some people have to go though in life. Good job.
Shady
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amazing rhythem and rhyme
There is a really rhythm in this piece, I'm not sure that I can see the connection to bulling that clearly maybe it's me just missing something.
Great write all the same!
StephX
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WOW,I like this one,I can feel the emotion behind it as if I were right there with you,and I gathered the meaning of confuzzled.lol. Unique,but that's what makes it stand out. Keep up the good work and best of luck in my contest.
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I think the hardest thing about being brothers, whether blood or not is that you have to watch them suffer and make their own mistakes. I felt the raw emotion in this and loved the use of your word confuzzle.
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This is a very well-written poem, very clearly expressed. The rhyming was very good, not forced at all. Confuzzled is a cool word lol. Thanks for entering and good luck! Lyndsey
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lol . .you stoner . . hah . . loL -- that was cool though. I'd say. and your word Confuzzled .. hhaah . .that cracks me UP man . .
yup yup
pCe JuiCe -
Great Gregg, it shows how two siblings can be so different, but I guess if we were all the same it would be pretty boring. I have 2 sons who are completely different, they hate each other, have done most of their lives. One is married with 2 beautiful children, the other is 36, no prospects and on the road to destruction with his drinking, which breaks my heart as I can help other people but not my own Son. It's his choice, I know that.Wonderful read my friend~Love to you~Joan
Edited on May 16, 8:03 because ''. -
I did really like this. It shows the intent of half the world. It also has a tinge of hate, but also a tinge of jealousy... Like you'd always wished you were him... Good write!
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\Ahhhh I did good in reading then
I'm so proud of myself now.. hehehe.. Sonnet's are good when you have just a few words to say...that would pack a pretty mean punch. But, like you've said..when there's just so much to say... you've got to use another form. I read this poem again... and I really do like it lots, you've done an excellent job. I can be SoftNCuddlyStormie lol
~Aimee*
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Love it.
Nice poem. It flows well, and tells about a lot of the things that makes our culture so messed up.
Love it. Good luck. -
Aimee, you read this poem correctly, right on the nail if I can use a cliché, originally I tried to make it an internal ryhming sonnet, but then there was just too much left unsaid leaving a very muddled poem, so I just sat down and rewrote it to what it is now...thanks for the comment...and PS' I know you are soft and cuddly and warm...but that would go against your name
Edited on Apr 01, 8:20 p.m. because ''. -
strange, isn't it, how siblings can be so very different.
i am taking your poem literally (too tired right now to read for deeper or hidden meaning or to read all the comments).
think i'll take a trip to some of your lighter fare for my last read of the night...
(important doc appt. tomorrow...finger's crossed for me, ok?)
~liz -
AHhhh Yes!
ok.. first lemme just go on the record saying... that I'm pleasant
Though... I'm not a pooh bear, or velvetine rabbit..I can still be soft n cuddly!!!(sorry, lol..i read the above comments after reading your poem)
Ahem.. on with the comment... I feel loads of emotion in this write... brothers bound by blood, but two totally different souls. Both have done bad, though one continues to do so. I hope I'm reading into this right. I enjoyed reading this one, just like I've enjoyed the others I've read from you, they're truthful and full of emotion. (whether you have just puffed or not
) I like the flow, even...easy to read through, plus you've got some great rhyming going on Keep penning on dearie... So I can read
~Aimee
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I don't think they have their eyes opened that a pooh bear and velveteen rabbit can be friends making their paw prints all over the cyberspace...if we had babies what would they be bunny bears?
Edited on Mar 31, 12:29 because ''. -
however you want to do it works for me...waiting a wee bit might be good for my school schedule as well...i swear these professors are trying to kill me! lol
...and why can't everyone be as pleasant as you and me? world would be a much nicer place...with a bunch of pooh bears and velveteen rabbits populated the earth...lol
UB
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p.s. almost have those 300...think of any good ideas?
UB
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LOTR...first i want to say...i like the brutal honest feel of this piece...you do not have it listed as personal, so i will not assume...however, if it is not...you did one hell of a job of making it REAL!
Now...about your commenting two slots up...i sat here and LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!! hahhahaha...Your Don Juan hath forsaken you...how dare that bitch!hahahahaha...you CRACK ME UP! lmao
UB
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This is wonderfully written and spoken... You have me thinking of my own siblings.... Well done poet.
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Well, let's talk...about misperception...I get a notice from Don Juan, expecting a very handsome man to come into my life, the message is signed Shorty ( ), so I jump to Shorty's library and find out it's a girl...oh my Don Juan on a white horse has forsaketh me! hehehehe
Just wanted to say hi and thanks for leaving a message on my poem, and you really had me 'confuzzled' tonight, but I love the mystery of the internet...sometimes.
Edited on Mar 31, 3:21 because ''. -
Wow, That is a very expressful poem.Very touching too.I think you did an awesome job writing this poem.I'm glad you shared it.Keep up the good work.
Shorty
P.S. I like the word "Confuzzled" sounds cool.
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