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Below Expectations

you like to count the ticks of
the watch at my bedside.
sometimes you will simply lie there
staring at the patterns on the ceiling
counting seconds.

I get tunes in my head.
slipjigs and hornpipes and tango
real and alive and in every time signature
and I count them off like seconds
but whenever I reach for paper
or the strings of my guitar
they go silent.

you told me once that I
read like a dictionary
because you know what my words mean
but not what I do.
The secret is that I mean exactly what I say
and it's the things I don't say
that you don't understand.

with the ticking of the metronome
in my head, alongside
the steady syncopated strumming
of the strings of my guitar
and the words spoken
we are asymptotes here
coming closer but not enough.

Author notes

Option 1: quote inspired

Edgar Albert Guest, born in August of 1881, wrote "Yesterday" in 1916. This quote is from that poem:

I have no yesterdays to count,
No good work to recall;
Each morning sees hope proudly mount,
Each evening sees it fall.

A contest entry

What is the relationship between "I" and "you" in this poem?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • StormGoddess Greeters member
    September 3

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    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    Captivating! A write worth the read, and once again if I may so so. Your words bring everything to life, kind of just jump right off the page. Well done.

    Welcome to AP and good luck
    Storm
    Site Greeter


  • LionessK
    September 1

    Edit | Reply

    welcome to allpoetry

    A creative take on the prompt. I love your wording. It's more than wording... this is something you can feel and breathe.
    Thank you for sharing.

    Best of luck to you in the contest.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    August 31
    Edit | Reply

    welcome to all poetry

    I think I very well may be in love with this poem. Quite magnificent.

    ♥
    whisper
    site greeter


  • raspberry Greeters member
    August 19

    Edit | Reply
    Welcome to Allpoetry

    You have done a good job here, followed the rules well.

    Thanks for taking time to enter the contest.. Good luck with the same

    Cheers
    Archana
    Site Greeter

1 - 8 of 8