And I finally saw you again

It was time to face the unknown.
How was I to react?
I was to know in that precise moment.
Walking in circles, trying to find a way to keep my cool.

I was down to the last moment.
I was a step away from facing a different kind of fear.
One step… from you.

Like if I didn’t notice you.
Like if you didn’t see me.
I did.
We did.

My eyes took a quick glance as my head turned away.
A quick glance that lasted hours, but really only seconds.

What was I to do?
What really could I say?
Nothing.
Nothing was what I did.
Nothing, you did.

It was all pretense.
My smile.
My laugh.
Only a cover-up.
A way to hide my true intentions.

If it was up to me…
If I had it my way,
I would have changed it all.
You’d be the first person I’d see, and the last I’d see.
I would hold you.
I would be…
Happy.

Life works differently.
We only get what we deserve.
I believe God gives us only what we can handle and nothing more.
Maybe you’re too much for me.
Maybe I don’t deserve you.
Or is it just us?

Maybe I tried too hard
Did I?
And so, my attempts failed.
But was wasn’t down yet.
This was just the beginning of my journey down.

Place to place.
My place was right there.
Love next to me, YOU at a distance.
I watched you, although I swore I didn’t.

I guess I’ve come to the realization that…
I haven’t forgotten you.
It’s hard.
This hurts.
And… every minuet this gets harder.
My smile can only hide so much.