im like broken glass
as leaves on trees, make there fall
everytime i look into that untouched mirror
i'm that same person, just that more clearer
i know you will never see me there again
i will go now, but with you i will remain
i feel my heart tearing inside for the first time
but i dare remember, as i cross that unrevealed line
everytime i see your naked eyes stairing back at me
i know all i could have been and more
where the drops of sorrow i bled
for the feelings lost, and all those words i should have said
i never knew if you could feel the same
but trust me, i will never forget your name
i just don't know how can i ever let you go
even with a clear mind, i'm still lost for what i should have done
now i have reached that day, i am beyond all reason and time
By And copyright of (Poetryrevolution79)
A contest entry
- Honest comments, Give me your best poem PW allowed by The Falls Sun.
400 points, ended September 16, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fear by Dezzy26.
585 points, ended September 29, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Beautifully penned, I enjoyed reading your peice. Keep it up! It had great imagery and emotion....
Thank you for entering my contest! Good luck.
Dezzi -
Wonderful
You gave such depth and energy to your write. So very creative. Best of luck in the contest.
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Just beautiful
The only thing I see wrong in this is there no puncuation to pause. The imagery is just stunning for you haven't been here that long. Its amazing how you pulled this free verse out. I commend you for doing something that seem hard for me to do, but if you put this in stanza of four lines and puncuate this will be beautiful poem. I hope this help lol. Haley27
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hi
Yes haley i understood what you said thnaks for the advice lol....i just changed like you said and it looks much better
thankyou )
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Ah even men can be broken! What a revelation you have revealed in your write
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I like the feelings expressed within this piece. I particularly like the line: "even with a clear mind i'm still lost for what i should have done". Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for your commnet bear women much appreciated..yes that line rings so well..says a lot of things lol
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This has a few errors when it comes to spelling and grammar,
but I like the idea you had and how you expressed it.
Best of luck to you in the contest you've entered.
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hi
hey thankyou for your comment..i took in what you said it was a late night for me last night lol...so i changed the 2 errors thanks for your comment though much appreciated
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very intresting, i really liked it, good luck in the contest and take care
Stephanie ♥ -
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Thanks stephanie your a doll!!
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wow! such a different style!
I'm impressed. Great job.
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