She lives down the street
In that old, beat up home.
Everyday she scraps white paint
Off of damaged, oak walls.
The soft carpet is gone,
Ripped up for cold, terracotta tile.
Curtains shred from the lightest tugs
And windows crack each day.
There she is, in that house
Sitting in a corner, all alone.
You can try to rescue her
Help save her from reality.
She just can’t escape.
Author notes
No. 1 ---> http://wildrainoficeandfire.deviantart.com/art/Leaving-is-such-sweet-sorrow-133454517
A contest entry
- q u i c k i e n e s s by Kathraina.
550 points, ended August 17, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So, any thoughts on this?
Comments
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I liked reading this, though was too short for my taste. I am secertly hoping you will expand on this. The concept as a whole is a great idea.
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Lovely job with this write, it tells a tale that fits the prompt well.
Very vivid imagery here, I felt as though I was there witnessing it all as I read it.
Bravo and thank you for entering
♥ Kate -
Beautifully done, Jake. Nice job, though it's a bit lacking in flow and ends a bit too abruptly I think. But ignoring that, it's a great poem. Just another great one from the maginificent Jacob XDDD
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Incredible work, Jacob. The way you word your words, is remarkable and I'm jealous. Your so real and down to Earth.
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