When Triton's army rises from the deep,
And tempests flay the algae from the rock
The ancient gods awaken from their sleep.
As mortals bleat their anguish just like sheep,
The sea lords, of their force are taking stock,
When Triton's army rises from the deep.
Great Pontus claims his victims, widows weep,
Briareus sinks ships in every dock,
The ancient gods awaken from their sleep.
Nereids wait where silver dolphins leap,
Safe passage of the seamen they will block
When Triton's army rises from the deep.
Aeolus stirs, great havoc he will reap,
As Scylla's hordes to every coast line flock,
The ancient gods awaken from their sleep.
The salty seas into the earth will seep,
The ageless ones no longer man will mock,
When Triton's army rises from the deep,
The ancient gods awaken from their sleep.
A contest entry
- A Villanelle Contest by ecrivain01 & cricketjeff by ecrivain01.
6000 points, ended September 6, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I
Comments
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Very nice ...
and very nicely done. The inverted lines bother me a bit, but all in all, this is a good job.
Thanks for entering.
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Line 2: what an unusual and colorful image! I remember, when I've been to the ocean, that occasionally I'd see sea weed in shreds upon the sand. I never actually thought of the storms shredding them though.
I love the strength of this, and how the repetition seems to increase its power in volumes.
I love line four: the fragility of the mortals is so wonderfully and colorfully expressed.
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