our bodies were cathedrals;
holy water flowing under our fingernails,
we painted infinity
between stained glass eyes.
daffodils stretched across ungodly horizons--
we dreamt there for weeks,
swallowing the hours.
Author notes
prompt: endless (30 words or less)
Written 08.15.09
A contest entry
- endless by Connor Blackbird.
700 points, ended August 21, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
just be honest
Comments
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amazing. The imagery is so vivid, I love the reaccuring theme of religion; the cathederal, holy water, stained glass, "ungodly", it really tied the poem together. beautiful write in so few words.
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What I really admire about this is how well you managed the constraints: I read this twice over and had to count it, because it seemed too vivid and detailed to be only 30 words. You make great use of the space; your word choice is very well balanced, evocative without being confusing. If I had to guess I'd say you've written pieces of this length before; I never feel rushed through the poem, and your attentiveness to spacing and punctuation is refreshing and serves to make the poem feel more like a poem and less, as sometimes happens, like a run-on sentence.
I like what you've done with the prompt as well. This is a really interesting take on it, and the tone you set, and the way it contrasts the imagery you provide, strikes an intriguing balance. I really like this one - thanks so much for entering!
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