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addiction

Missing image
a line of
  burgandy burnished bottles with
        molotov qualities

      showcasing the art of glass blowing with
escapist intent

a vignette composed of debris
        from violently squandered potential

                  harbingers of haphazard hope
armored augary of angst
  when truth is
                        detected by cliche

after all, who would try to fit a parallelogram
in an octagonal hole
                        what could make an octagonal hole?


perhaps a missing stop sign...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • MJ Forgives
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Your poem is so interesting. I enjoyed reading. I really did.
    -Jess


  • bloodlust83
    August 17
    Edit | Reply
    Very good, cant wait to see what else you write.


  • My Chronos gold member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting write...I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to reading more of your writings.

  • Ilovewriting
    August 17
    Edit | Reply
    you should enter it in my next contest. Great job chicka. You have a wonderful talent. Keep up the wonderful work. Aww so sad.


  • Pkwiki
    August 17

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing.

    I loved this. Why should I bother saying anything else?
    The last two lines made me laugh and I havea feeling that they will randomlybeinmy head for hours now.

    Andsorry for the typing, myspacebar broke in an earlier comment.


  • Jonathan ROBIN
    August 17

    Edit | Reply

    O Tempora

    I have not read your work for a couple of years and this is definitely "autre chose" as they say in French, as for the octoganal hole - apart from the missing stop sign perhaps a square spider ? amusing alliteration brings one back to exchanges dating to 2005


  • Keith E. Gerber
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Great job, I have added you to my favorites if you do not mind. I enjoy your writing. Thank you for sharing.

  • Ilovewriting
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it. You don't need no criticism. You don't need to revise it. Its perfect the way it is. Your wonderful at writing poetry. Two thumbs on that one. Keep going on your awesome poetry.


  • weathergirl123
    August 16
    Edit | Reply
    Let me guess... drunk driver?


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    ohhh I really like the ending! original and unique
    Good work!


    Thanks for sharing, keep writing!

    x

    (:


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 16

    Edit | Reply

    I thoroughly enjoyed your alliteration throughout this piece; it's one of my favorite "poetic devices". I also liked your line about glass blowing; I've seen it done at the fair and on documentaries. I think it's a fascinating art with quite lovely results. Congratulations on your silver chalice, Poet.


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, nicely done............... what great new imagery this spawns...


  • PerVirtuous
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    Ah! The return of a long lost love! Brilliant and original, as usual! Missed you terribly. No ten minute poems for years now.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    DAMN! So that's why I almost got T Boned by that Semi hauling hogs and locking up the brakes at 95 MPH? because some fool stop the stop sign? Ok, "he" can get his ass over here and clean the pig droppings out of my back seat and also the Semi Driver's underwear!

    interestingly done- like an asteroid through the aorta?


    len

  • goodwriter
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    Great job. I loved this poem. You have a great love for poetry. Continue you on.


  • kerrypn
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    Technically brilliant-your use of alliteration, metaphor, personification and even wit are brilliant. "Burgandy burnished bottles" is a masterpiece, and "violently squandered potential" is so vivid and concise in its condemnation. Beautifully written, best of luck in the contest.

1 - 25 of 25